Page 92 of Is It Casual Now?

“Fine.” Tori settled her cup back onto the table and counted on her fingers as she continued. “You’ve been taking more time off work. I know this because more than once in the last few weeks you’ve called to have some spontaneous time with Harley. Which I love, and if it were just that, I would be even more thrilled. But then you chased down Jamie, and you snapped at Harley. Now you’re showing up early for exchanges, and you look like a lost little puppy.”

“A lost puppy?” Siena lifted a single eyebrow as she looked at Tori over the rim of her cup. “Really?”

“You’re more offended at being called a puppy than being told you look like you’ve been beat up?” Tori laughed and shook her head before she leaned over the table and gently put a hand over Siena’s. “Please tell me what’s happening. Maybe I can help.”

“It’s me, Tori.” It was as though that simple touch had broken the dam holding back the emotions she’d been failing to convince herself weren’t there. “The problem is me.”

Tori got up from the table and returned with a box of tissues. She held them out for Siena to take one before sliding back into place and pushing the tissues close enough for Siena to reach.

“Thank you.” Siena dabbed at her face. “But I swear to God if you start in on a Taylor Swift song, I’m leaving right now. Besides. I shouldn’t be a mess with Harley here, and I’m about to take her home for pizza.”

“Pizza’s already on its way,” Tori said, taking another sip of her drink.

“What?”

“Don’t go getting mad, but while I was making our drinks, I messaged Aili.”

“Fuck.”

“She’s on her way with pizza and games to keep Harley occupied enough until you’re ready to take her home. Then you’ll have two of us to gang up on you.”

“Great. I’m such a shit parent.”

“Seriously?” Tori’s tone snapped Siena out of her spiral into intrusive thoughts before they could even begin.

“I know. I’m a great parent. Harley proves that,” Siena recited.

“Yeah, and when you say it like you mean it, I’ll know you’re doing better about yourself as well. But come on, quit stalling, and tell me what happened.”

“Fine.” Siena caught Tori up on the fake engagement and the leak.

“All right,” Tori said slowly. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed as she thought about the words before she spoke. “So stuff at work has really gone haywire. But these things have happened before. Why is it affecting you so much this time?”

“Because of Jamie.”

“So thereissomething with Jamie?” Tori asked. The lack of surprise in her voice should have offended Siena, or at least made her feel something.

“Yes.”

“And more than just some casual fun?”

“It was never just some casual fun.” Siena hated admitting that, but it was impossible with it all staring her right in the face. She’d wanted it to be. Because it’d be so much easier if it was.

“And you think she betrayed you?” Tori asked.

“She did betray me. And I should be furious with her. Instead, I’m just sad and broken. I can’t keep making these kinds of mistakes.”

“What kind of mistakes?”

“Love.” The word caught in Siena’s throat, and she looked up, prepared to face hurt and anger from Tori. Instead, her ex-wife’s face radiated the same kind understanding Siena had always loved about her.

“Love isn’t a mistake, Siena.”

“Maybe not.” Siena could have left it at that, but she had been a coward for too long. “But I screwed up with you. I should never have asked you to marry me. I should have never put you through what I did. I’m so sorry, Tori.”

“Excuse me?” Tori now sounded affronted, and the relief of being seen as the true villain of their relationship was a relief. “Don’t pull that shit on me, or on yourself.”

“Myself?” Siena looked up, and while Tori’s face did show hints of anger, it wasn’t the anger she was expecting.

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