Page 75 of Is It Casual Now?

The word was on the tip of Siena’s tongue, but she couldn’t make herself say it out loud. It hadn’t just been two nights. It was never that. Jamie managed to get under Siena’s skin because she meant more than Siena wanted her to. Because Siena wanted more.

“It’s warmer inside.” Siena’s words came out rushed, stopping anything else escaping before she was ready.

They walked in silence to the front door where sensor lights flicked on, reminding Siena she had to find her keys and keep moving. She couldn’t lose herself in Jamie, not quite yet.

After they were inside and Jamie argued again about Siena indeed being rich, she led them into the small reading room. It had more records than books, but she had always called it the reading room, despite how it had ended up.

Sitting on the small love seat, Siena reached over to Jamie. She gently placed her hand on Jamie’s, but she didn’t squeeze, she didn’t brush her thumb, and she didn’t try to lace their fingers. When Jamie finally looked at her curiously, Siena knew she had her full attention.

“I think we started this wrong.”

“Started what wrong?” Jamie frowned.

“Hi. I’m Siena Frazee.” She smiled at Jamie. “And I’m a production manager for several local bands in the area. My most famous clients are Bunny and Piper.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Jamie laughed nervously. “This is ridiculous.”

Siena shook her head. “No, it’s not. I want to take a chance, and I might be making the same mistake twice, but who the hell knows? I’m willing to find out. Get to know me,Jamie. The real me. NotVan. Not Ms. Frazee. Me. Siena. Mom to Harley, completely neurotic when it comes to my calendar and work life, and overly protective of those I claim as mine.”

Jamie shook. Her gaze dropped from Siena’s face to their hands. Then she bit her lip. When Jamie looked back up, Siena knew the answer.

They were doing this.

twenty-four

“I’m Jamie,” she heard herself saying. “And I’m no one’s friend, I’m no one’s favorite employee, I’m no one’s favorite, not even my parents.” Jamie swallowed the lump that lodged itself in her throat. “And I didn’t come to the interview because I was scared.” Her voice cracked. “And I thought you didn’t want me.”

Notwant me there.She had been convinced that Siena hadn’t wanted her at all.

Siena’s lips parted in surprise, her face falling. “Jamie…” she whispered. “I can’t get you out of my head. I haven’t since that night I met you in the tapas bar, but even before then.”

“Before?” Jamie steadied herself, trying to get a grip on what was happening.

Nodding, Siena flipped her hand over and laced their fingers. “I’ve read every blog post you’ve written, every news article in the paper, every one-off that you’ve managed to publish. I know who you are when you write. I haven’t been able to get your words out of my brain since well before I saw you, since I met you.”

“Siena…” Jamie trailed off, no idea what to say. She hadn’t expected this. “None of that’s true. Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying.” Siena lifted Jamie’s hand, kissing her knuckles. “I never lie. Bend the truth, yes, when it’s useful for my job, but never lie.”

Jamie drew in a shuddering breath. She dropped her gaze to their joined hands, her heart racing. Why did this feel so right? Every time they’d had sex, it felt right, but everything in between had been a struggle. But something about tonight was different. It made her want to retreat and fall into herself so she could figure it out.

It scared the living shit right out of her.

And yet she stayed. She didn’t run. She didn’t try to hide. She held Siena’s hand in her own, and she dreamed of their lips pressing tighter and their bodies moving in ways that would bring them both to the pinnacle of pleasure.

“I’m not sure I can do this,” Jamie whispered, moving her hand from Siena’s. “I…I don’t think.”

“Breathe, Jamie.” Siena took her hand back, pulling Jamie’s attention away from the panic that was settling into her chest and straight to Siena. “We’re not doing anything except talking.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Words are your life,” Siena responded, a deep line forming in her brow. “How can you be scared to talk?”

Because it’s everything I don’t want.At least that’s what Jamie wanted to believe. But it was truthfully the opposite. She’d always wanted someone who would pay attention to her, who would love her for her and not because they were obligated to love her. And there had never been a single person in her life who had done that.

“Don’t lie to me, Siena. I can’t handle it.”

“I promise you I won’t.” Siena cupped Jamie’s cheek. “What’s going on?”

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