Page 47 of Is It Casual Now?

“I hate my job. I do it to pay the bills. I wrote that first piece with information I had gotten ages ago, but never thought I would ever use.” How would Siena react if Jamie actually explained that to her? Instead, Jamie had done what she normally did and pushed to get exactly what she wanted—or at least what she thought she wanted and what she thought the world wanted of her.

“Until she left you high and dry on a Friday night?” Jessie’s voice carried a hint of mirth with a larger helping of understanding.

“Yeah. And I’m not proud of it.”

“You’ve written far more damaging articles.”

“I know,” Jamie whispered, fearing the words that danced on her tongue. “And I think maybe every word of it makes me a bad person.”

“You aren’t a bad person,” Jessie replied quietly, not quite matching Jamie’s whisper.

“But I’m not a good person.” Jamie knew that truth deep in her heart, and she wasn’t ever going to be able to escape it.

“I think you are,” Jessie answered.

“You think everyone’s a good person.”

“Nah, I just think everyone has the potential to be.”

“Even me?”

“Especially you,” Jessie replied. “If you think you aren’t the person you want to be, then maybe it’s time to change things.”

“I want the interview to be good, but I don’t know if she’ll let me ask the question.”

“Oh, not the interview you sent me?” Jessie picked up her phone as if to show the interview she’d sent over.

“No. This interview is just to placate the day job until I get the questions approved for the big one.”

“The Bunny and Piper one? And Siena has to approve all of them?”

“Yeah.” Jamie smiled. She should have known. Jessie always listened to her work rants and remembered. Jamie needed to work harder on listening to Jessie’s work talk. She had to learn to ask. Because she did care, whenever she could get her head out of her ass long enough to look around. And she needed to do that way more often than she had been.

“So, what questions don’t you think Siena will approve you to ask them?”

“She’s approved most of them. But honestly, there’s only one question I really want to ask them now.”

“What question is that?”

“What made you choose Siena as your manager all those years ago?”

“Oh, Sis. Looks like you might have met your match.”

“I know,” Jamie said. “I’m fucked.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“Get my head back on and stop fucking around.”

“Hmmm.” Jessie pursed her lips. “I’m not sure I’m going to like where you are heading with this, am I?”

“Nope.” Jamie smiled, though it mustn’t have reached her eyes as Jessie’s own face deflated like the metaphorical kicked puppy once more.

“You know having feelings doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”

“It does if it stops me being the kick-ass journalist I’ve been working so damn hard to be.”

fifteen

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