Shame heats me more than the coffee ever could. I used Alec to get to Emery, never considering the harm I was doing to their relationship.
I did something for Alec yesterday in an attempt to take back the harm, but some hurts can’t be undone.
Things were strained between them before I sprung my trap, let alone now. Besides me, Emery only has her father, and I dashed that delicate connection to pieces without a second thought.
What a cunt I am for taking her remaining parent away from her.
After what I went through, you’d think I’d have considered that, but I didn’t. So what’s different now?
Emery, that’s what. She’s making me a better man and teaching me to think beyond myself, whether I like it or not.
I hunker down lower and keep out of Emery’s eyeline. I watch the scene unfold, hoping she and her father can get past this bullshit and hold onto one another, no thanks to me.
God, I hope they find a way through it.
34
Emery
“I’m sorry, Emery. I really am.” Dad weaves his stiff fingers through mine, the cold worsening his arthritis. “I never meant for things to be this way.”
I’m struggling to concentrate. I think I see Leon everywhere, but he’s not here. Too many happy people are wrapped up in one another like Leon and I should be.
My husband is the boss of the Russian mafia, an organization famed for its brutality and vice-like grip on the criminal fraternity of the city. I didn’t stick around to ask the questions now rattling in my mind.
Has he killed people? How much human misery has he presided over? Was even one cent of his vast wealth earned by something other than the blood and pain of innocent people?
And yet, he told me he loved me.
I’m still reeling, wondering if I’m going crazy.Canhe love? What does that even mean?
I was in a state when I called my father back. He’d been trying to reach me all day, and to his credit, he came to meet me as soon as he got my tearful call.
When he showed up, I was about ready to scream at him.
I thought he would be surprised to hear who my husband was, but that was my naiveté at work; he knew exactly what he was getting me into.
“For money, Dad.” The little girl in me can’t bear to pull my hand away. “For something as sordid and soulless as cash, you were prepared to hand me over to a bratva boss, and you didn’t tell me who he was?”
“He made me swear not to. And it wasn’t that simple, honey. Your inheritance was all I had to give you. I knew I’d ruined everything between us after your mom died, and I was good for nothing except financial security. That’s why I was happy to throw my lot in with Dante and grow my investments.”
He sighs heavily, his breath fogging the air. “I thought you genuinely liked him.”
“And I thought you didn’t value me beyond keeping Dante on side,” I say. “I spent years believing I wasn’t worth your time or attention, and eventually, I assumed everyone would see me that way. Dante was the kind who can smell insecurity like a shark smells blood.”
“I wish you’d told me.” He sips his decaf, avoiding my eyes. “When the joint ventures were in ruins, and Leon laid out his terms, I panicked. It wasn’t only about the money. At the time, I thought he’d kill me if I refused to surrender you to him, and then what would become of you?”
“At the time?” I lean forward. “Has something changed?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.” He sets down his coffee cup and wraps both hands around mine. “Leon sent a man called Yuri to see me today. Smart guy, mob lawyer, and accountant. He told me he would spend some time with my books and locked me out of my study. I was in no position to argue with him or his firearm. I thought I was screwed.”
“And…?”
“Emery, Leon handed over control of several investments of his own, equivalent in value to the ones he destroyed. He swore not to threaten me personally or my finances ever again.”
“Why?”
“I guess he regrets what he did?” Dad shrugs. “Who knows. I sure as Hell regret it. When you said he’d only demanded you stay for thirty days, I was so relieved, but I’m surprised he let you walk out when you discovered who he was.”