“Emery, it was an accident. You had no control over it.”

“I could tell you the same thing,” she says, wrapping her arms around herself. “If you can find compassion for me, you can find it for yourself, Leon. It’s like they tell you in-flight safety briefings: put on your own oxygen mask before you try to help others.”

I’ve spent years building a fortress to protect my psychological wounds, and she knocked it down with nothing more than a nudge.

My walls are crumbling, besieged not by force but by honesty and kindness; things I knew of once but did my utmost to banish, fearing would only bring me weakness.

But for the first time, I’m not afraid. I want to surrender to it.To her.

I’ve let myself get too vulnerable and feel raw and exposed. It’s her turn to give something to me, and it feels right in this moment of connection.

I’m unraveling, the vodka burning through my blood, her presence searing through the last of my defenses.

This is the right time.

Once I get a hold of myself, I’ll get up in my head. If I don’t make her mine tonight, I never will.

Emery’s brows pull together in confusion when I reach for her hand, but she doesn’t resist as I pull her to her feet, crashing her soft, warm body into mine.

“Enough,” I murmur, my voice hoarse. “I don’t know how or why you draw me out, but God damn it—I can’t take any more.”

My hand snakes around her throat, my thumb brushing the rapid flutter of her pulse. Her breath catches, and her fingers grab my wrist, trembling but firm.

“I don’t want to find myself, Emery,” I whisper in her ear. “I want to lose myself in you. To take what I want from your beautiful body and make you truly mine.”

Her pulse leaps under my thumb, and her fingers tighten around my wrist.

I tilt my head closer, my lips brushing the shell of her ear. “If you say yes, there’s no going back.”

29

Emery

My heart pounds like it’s trying to escape, every beat rattling my ribcage. My legs tremble with nerves and anticipation as Leon presses his body to mine.

I’ve never done this before or even come close. I’ve been passive all my life—with my choices and heart.

I was careful never to ask for too much or expect better than I got. God forbid I be a burden.

When Leon looks at me, all that falls away.

My instincts have failed me before, and I know they could fail me again. Maybe Leon is just another manipulative liar, a man who only sees me as a conquest or a pawn in some game I don’t even know I’m playing.

But there’s something in the way he touches me, a tenderness that makes me feel valued in a way I’ve never known.

It’s not that he doesn’t see the broken pieces of me I try so hard to hide, the parts Dante mocked and my father overlooked. He accepts them and treats me like I’m already whole, something worth ruining himself for.

For once, I refuse to second-guess myself or run from what I want.

Leon, Dante, that inner voice telling me no one will ever truly like me—I’m tired of everyone else enjoying the last word. All I want is to shut off the chatter and let it happen.

Surrender, Emery, and justfeelit. Even if it’s a mistake, it’s mine to make.

Leon steps back, and his eyes rake over me, lingering on my curves. I can see the hunger in his gaze, but there’s something else too—something untamed, possessive.

“What do you say?” he asks, his voice rumbling from his chest. “You gonna let me show you how a real man takes your virginity? Because know this, Emery; I’m no shy schoolboy or polite gentleman.”

I bite my lip, and he continues, clenching his fists as though willing himself to keep control.