Page 25 of My Crush's Brother

She throws a shirt down on the bed and her face is a shad of red I’ve never seen. “You love me? You wait till NOW to tell me? You’ve had weeks but you were too scared because you love to hid behind your failed relationship. You use it as a crush, you let it define you. Same with the football situation. At the end of the day you’re too scared to actually say how you feel or what you want, you just continue to run away.”

“You’re the one running away! I have a company and commitments I made months ago Pearl. Don’t act like you’re not running away from your feelings too. You’ve been hiding behind your feelings for Trevor with this whole thing. You know you love me.”

“I’m not Blake. Besides, you can’t have it both ways...one minute I’m still in love with Trevor and the next I love you? Get this through your head. I don’t have feelings in this. Like you said, we agreed to have fun and enjoy it while it lasted. Clearly we want different things. I appreciate your apology but if you could please leave. I need to finish packing.”

The look in her eyes is so cold, her jaw is stiff and unwavering. It feels like a million daggers just plunged into my heart and I can’t believe how much this hurts. How did she manage to worm her way into my heart and life so deeply and so quickly? I don’t even know how long I stand there, but my heartache quickly morphs into anger and I say the only thing I can think of that will save my dignity.

“Goodluck with Trevor, at least you kept it in the family.” I turn and slam the bedroom door. Not stopping to say goodbye to her mother I storm out of the house and get in my truck and drive.

Is she going there to be with Trevor? There’s no way he’d do that to me. I know my comment and feelings are fucked up right now but nothing makes sense. I don’t know where I’m going but I don’t want to think or feel. I blast the radio and roll the windows down. I need to hit the road by Sunday morning to get to the build site and be ready to break ground on Monday but to hell with that, I’ll head up early. I have no reason to stick around here anymore.

FIFTEEN

Pearl

It’s been one long miserable two weeks. I’ve done nothing but cry in bed, walk to the kitchen to eat a pint of ice cream, cry in the shower, in the tub and in my car right now at The Place.

I pull down the viser and flip open the mirror, patting beneath my eyes to dry the tears and wipe away any smudged mascara. I take a few deep breaths and close my eyes willing myself to get it together before I go inside to meet Jade.

“Heeeey!” I say with the fakest amount of happiness I can muster. I give her a hug before taking a seat on the stool next to her.

“So, how are you doing?” She gives me that head tilt...the damn head tilt everyone always does when they see you as a fragile mess. In her defense, she isn’t wrong.

“I’m actually really good.” I can hear how high my voice is and I know she’s going to call me on my bullshit. “I...okay not great. Jade, I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh sweetie, I wish I knew what to say. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Well, the interview went so well in Chicago and they called yesterday and offered me the job. It’s amazing pay, the office is gorgeous and they’d pay to relocate me.”

“But?” She knows me too well.

“Chicago is beautiful but my god it’s so big. I missed it here when I was there. I had a great time catching up with Trevor and meeting his fiancee, they worked things out and are doing great. He and I went out for a drink and I explained it all to him. He wasn’t much help.” I say thanking Will for my beer and taking a long drink.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he basically told me I’m in love with him and that’s the problem.”

“Are you?”

I can feel the tears spring up, “Yes.” I say as I let my head hang and the tears start to flow.

“Oh Pearl, why are you sad about it?” She asks rubbing my back.

“Because I ruined it Jade! You should have heard how mean I was to him! He hates me now.” I wipe away the snot from my nose, I know I must look like one helluva hot mess.

“I can pretty much guarandamntee you that that man is up in Montana feeling the same way you are right now. I bet you anything he feels hurt and broken and confused. Imagine the look on his face if you showed up there?”

I snap my head up, “What? Go to Montana? That doesn’t solve the issue though Jade. I—I don’t know how to make it work.”

“Do you want the job in Chicago?” She asks.

“Yes, but I want to be here and with Blake. I did consider...Well, I asked them for a few days to think things over and what if I counter offer? What if I tell them if they let me work remotely here in Colorado it will save them the relocation money and I can fly back to Chicago once a quarter!” I jump off my stool at my brilliant idea.

“It can’t hurt babe, I say go for it.” She replies raising her beer.

I pack throwmy bag in my car and turn around to give my mom a hug. “Am I making a huge mistake?” I ask her.

“You know that boy loves you, I’ve never seen a man get so worked up over a woman. You have to follow your heart sweetie, you don’t want a life of regrets.” She pulls me in for a hug before turning around and heading for the porch. “Call me when you get there Pearl, I love you.” She stands on the porch and waves me off as I head off toward Montana.

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