Page 34 of Crashing Without Justice

Harding~

After Officers Boone and Clinton had left this morning, I knew that I could no longer afford to play nice with Paige. Their visit had only confirmed how far over the edge she was, and my only hope was to end this marriage as soon as possible.

So, while I’d had all the paperwork, finding someone to serve her had been a bit of a challenge. I hadn’t wanted to subjectanyoneto her insanity, but I also knew that I couldn’t serve her myself. So, when Trista had volunteered one of her cousins for the task, I had immediately said no. However, since Paige knew most of my family and friends, she could easily avoid them. So, even though I hadn’t liked the idea, sending a stranger to her front door had seemed like the only option.

“How are you holding up?”

I looked over at Trista as she walked into the living room, and it’d be so easy to lie to her just to make her feel better, but I wasn’t going to do that. “I don’t even know.”

She sat down next to me, and while I adored her kids, being able to just relax with her was worth everything right now. I was getting tired of that fucking hotel room, and so it was nice to be able to sit comfortably inside a real living room in a real home. We’d just finished lunch, and Trista had sent me to the living room while she’d been busy cleaning up. Now, normally, I would have been in the kitchen with her, but she was trying to take care of me, and I was tired enough to let her.

“Are you worried that she might actually do something dangerous?” she asked as she took a seat next to me.

“I don’t know what I’m worried about,” I answered honestly. “I knew that she was going to be upset, and I even knew that she might act a little out of pocket, but I never imagined this.” I shook my head as I let out a heavy sigh. “I never imagined that she’d…she’d act this crazy.”

“Is she crazy?”

My brows furrowed at that question. “What?”

“I’m not trying to be an asshole,” she quickly replied. “But is it possible that she’sactuallycrazy?”

“I…”

I stopped.

It was on the tip of my tongue to say that she wasn’t again, but what else would explain her insane behavior? Paige was a woman scorned, and while I understood that, her hurt feelings weren’t reason enough for all the extreme things that kept coming from her direction. Of course, I didn’t want to think that I might have married someone that could actually be mentally unbalanced, but it was getting harder and harder not to give the thought some real merit. While I’d be the biggest fool on the planet to have missed or ignored the signs, I didn’t even know anymore.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” I finally answered. “I don’t want to believe that she might actually need some help, but…but I really just don’t know at this point.”

“Look, I should be the last person judging her, considering my part in all this, but I’m beginning to wonder if she really does need the help of a professional, Harding. It’s not just the texts and calls, either. It’s how she’s sending these awful texts, locating every person that we’ve ever known to tell them what’s going on, making these fake social media accounts, and even accosting your mother, but then…then she’s making these posts about what a good Christian she is and how she’s taking the high road.” Trista shook her head in emphasis. “That’s crazy, Harding. Especially, when no one would fault her for going all scorch-the-earth. People would actually sympathize and understand her anger, but…but that’s not what she’s doing. It’s like she’s got five different personalities, and they’re all doing something opposite of the other.”

“Maybe it’s just mood swings,” I suggested.

“Maybe you’re letting guilt still cloud your vision,” she replied quietly. “Just remember, just like her anger doesn’t justify all that she’s done, your guilt doesn’t justify it, either.” Trista reached over, then squeezed my leg. “Even if we deserve all her crap, our families don’t, Harding. Our family and friends have nothing to do with the decision that we made to be together, so that’s what you have to remember. Paige has made this more than just about us now, and you can’t keep your head in the sand about what kind of person she really is.”

“I just…” I let out a deep sigh. “I just…you know, there were good times, too. My marriage hadn’t been all bad. In the beginning, Paige…things had been perfect. I’d been happy, and a lot of that had been becauseshe’dbeen happy.”

“Happy wife, happy life?” she chuckled softly.

I smiled at her, even though I wasn’t feeling any kind of happy at the moment. “It was more than that,” I replied. “I didn’t want Paige happy just to keep her from nagging me; that wasn’t it at all. I wanted to see her happy because I loved her. I wanted to see her happy and know that I was the reason.”

“Then what happened?”

“She started doing things that I could no longer ignore, and once I finally opened my eyes, there was no unseeing any of it,” I answered. “Then, all the little things from the past started to make an appearance, and then I began to feel horrible over how I had always chosen her side when she’d been so obviously wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…like, there was this one time when my cousin, Beth, was going to host Easter for the first time, and she’d been so fucking excited,” I said, chuckling at the memory of her enthusiasm. “Beth had spent hours on Pinterest and whatever for Easter decoration ideas and games, and…God, I just remember her being so damn happy about it.”

“What happened?”

“Paige had ended up buying her own decorations and games, and when we showed up for Easter, she had replaced some of Beth’s games with her own, and when Beth had voiced her displeasure, Paige had ended up in tears,” I told her, the memory coming back to haunt me like a relenting ghost.

“What did you do?”

“I accused Beth of being too sensitive,” I admitted. “I also told her that she should have been grateful that someone had wanted to help her with all that work.”

Trista winced, and I didn’t blame her. “Ouch.”

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