Page 42 of Crashing Without Justice

Iwatched Kirk sleeping, and I couldn’t believe how full my heart felt after Harding had just broken it so thoroughly. I could feel my heart mending with each passing second, and it was all thanks to Kirk Nabers.

When Kirk and I had made love the first time, it’d been for the camera and to prove to Harding and Trista that they hadn’t ruined our chances at happiness. However, the second time had been for us. Once we’d been done with our show, we had slipped under the covers, and Kirk had held me, no words needed between us. Then, as soon as he’d been ready, he had rolled on top of me, then had completely consumed me with each breath that he’d taken and each movement of his body over mine. Looking into his eyes, I’d fallen in love with everything about him, and I honestly couldn’t care less about Harding Rice at this moment.

After our second round, Kirk had been more than eager to help me pick out which stills to send to Trista’s phone, and we had even edited the video together before sending it off. Of course, after sending the pictures and videos, I had deleted everything like I had promised Kirk that I’d do, and the smile on his face when he’d seen that I really was a woman of my word had been worth losing the video and pictures for. Relationships were nothing if they weren’t based on trust, and I was going to do everything in my power to show Kirk that he could trust me.

As Kirk slept peacefully, I grabbed my phone from the nightstand to share what I was feeling with all the people that deserved to know that hope was a very powerful force, and that we should always hang onto it, no matter what.

The definition of hope is this...to cherish a desire with anticipation: to want something to happen or be true…and while the definition sounds simple, hope is the most powerful thing in existence. In fact, it’s even more powerful than love. Love can be tainted or lost, but not hope. Hope is an incredible miracle that rides on the wings of prayer, and it’s what keeps us going when we find ourselves lost in the dark.

Only days ago, I’d been that quiet soul, wandering alone in the dark, but not anymore. My prayers were answered, and hope stepped in to help guideme out of the dark, and I couldn’t be happier. With God, anything is possible, and I see how He doesn’t give you what you want, but what you need, and so you need to trust in your faith and prayers. God knows best, and I’ve learned that miracle.

Luckily for me, my eyes have been opened, and I’m now on a journey to experience real love; the type of love that you only read in fairytales. I am whole now, and that feeling is priceless. Especially, when you’ve spent years with people that did nothing but try to tear you down. I am love, I am a sonnet, I am peace, and I wish that for all of you.

I set my phone down after posting my latest message, but since Harding had blocked me on social media the other day, I knew that I was going to have to send him a separate message through text. Now that I had Kirk in my life, I was just as eager to get on with the divorce as Harding was.

Rolling over to get comfortable in the bed again, I looked over at Kirk, and I didn’t care that we’d only met today. Everything happened for a reason, and Harding’s betrayal was the fire that I’d had to walk through to get to Kirk, and I knew that it was going to be worth it.

I sank deeper into my pillow as Kirk began to stir, his body automatically stretching awake, and it saddened me that he was going to have to leave soon. When we had agreed to come to my place, there’d been a lot of talk about him staying all night, but we both had to work in the morning, and life didn’t pause for anyone. Life didn’t care about our trauma or turmoil; it only cared that we kept contributing to make it continue.

“Hey,” I said softly, grinning like a loon.

“Hey,” he replied. “Sorry I fell asleep.”

“Don’t be,” I quickly reassured him. “You needed your rest.”

He gave me a wicked grin. “Are you ready for round three?”

I arched a brow. “Are you up for it? I mean…you’re not twenty anymore.”

He let out a good-natured laugh. “I might not be twenty, but I can still get it up plenty.”

I laughed with him before saying, “Actually, I’d like to talk about us.”

His brow immediately furrowed. “What about us?”

“Am I going to hear from you tomorrow?” I asked bluntly, “Or are you going to prove that you’re just like every other man out there?”

Kirk’s head reared back in surprise, then he quickly sat up, no longer feeling lazy and satiated. “What?”

“Well, you said a lot about tonight, but you haven’t mentioned anything about the future,” I pointed out. “I just figured…well, after everything that I let you do to me, I’d get at least a phone call tomorrow.”

“Whoa, hold up,” he said carefully. “What do you mean by everything that youletme do to you? I was under the impression that youwantedme to do those things to you.”

“I did,” I rushed out, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. “I enjoyed it all, but…well, I don’t just letanyonedo…do that.”

His brows rose high up on his head. “Really? Because you begged for it rather hard for someone that isn’t into that type of play.”

When Kirk had taken my ass, the camera had been rolling, and so I had played it up as more pleasurable than it’d really been. As soon as I’d given Kirk the green light, he had worked his cock inside my ass without giving me any time to adjust to his size. Eventually, the discomfort had given way, but I still knew that I was going to be sore in the morning.

“So…you’re saying that you feel nothing for me?” I asked, not wanting to address his remark.

His face immediately softened. “I’m not saying that, Paige. You just…accusing me of being like other men was probably not the best way to start this conversation. Especially, when you consider that I also know what it feels like to be burned.”

I sat up on the bed, holding the sheet to my chest. “Which makes us kindred spirits, don’t you think?”

“I think that we need to take it one day at a time,” he replied evenly, and I didn’t like hearing that. “You’re still not even divorced, Paige.”

“But…but I will be by the end of the week,” I assured him. “I’m going to agree to Harding’s terms and get this thing over with as soon as possible.”

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