Page 70 of Nash

I'm not proud of it. I was an asshole in the biggest way.

I've tried to apologize, but she won't answer my calls or my texts, understandably.

So the one thing I feared happening, ended up happening anyway because I'm a fucking idiot.

And I know this shit is messing with my game, because I'd almost lost it for us today. Luckily Pax had my back and scored for us, allowing us to win by one.

I hate that I’m so irritable and mad at myself that it’s affecting my gameplay, but try as I might, I can’t fix it.

“You're coming out with us tonight,” Lawson says after we've showered and gotten dressed and are heading out of the arena.

“No, I'm not,” I snap. “I'm fully prepared to go home, sulk, and try to text Reese again.”

“Yes, you are,” Paxton says as we make it to our cars in the parking lot. “Put your shit in your car and get in mine.”

I raise my brows at his forcefulness. “Wait,” I say. “Aren't you usually the nice one?”

“What does that make me? The dick one?” Lawson asks.

I roll my eyes, but I do what Paxton says. I throw my gear bag in the trunk of my car, lock it, and then get into the passenger seat of his.

Lawson climbs into the back. “You’ve been a miserable bastard the last few days,” he says as Paxton heads out of the parking lot.

“And you wonder why I say he's the nice one,” I say, motioning to Pax.

“He's not wrong,” Paxton says. “You have been miserable. Even Clay can tell. I think he’s worried about losing his grumpy asshole Badger badge.”

“I don't give a shit,” I say. “It's no one's business. Besides, Clay is a miserable bastard twenty-four seven and nobody gets on his case about it.”

“He's the captain,” Lawson says. “And that's his vibe.You’renormally fun.”

“Oh, I'm so sorry I'm not fun after ruining my own life.”

“Jesus, sometimes you're a drama queen,” Paxton says as he turns into one of our favorite local clubs.

“Fuck you both,” I say, half teasing. The fact that they care actually does feel…nice. “I don't know why I agreed to come out with you tonight.”

“How about because we just won in conference finals, and we haven't done that in who knows how long?” Pax says as he parks.“And because you desperately need a night out. I know things suck right now, but I honestly believe you two just need to talk things out.”

“More like he needs to get on his knees and grovel,” Lawson adds.

“I've tried, man,” I say. “She doesn't want to talk to me. And I can't fucking blame her. I was the worst combination ever—stupid and an asshole.”

“We’ve all been there,” Lawson says as we walk toward the club entrance. “We can all be idiots. If the women we loved held that against us, we’dneverever be able to learn from our mistakes.”

“She doesn't love me back,” I say. “It's not the same thing.”

“You don't know that,” Paxton says.

“I do,” I say. “And it doesn't matter anymore. I fucked up and I'm not going to be able to fix it.”

“And you're choosing to be the drama for the rest of your life, cool,” Paxton says as we work our way through the crowds, finding Clay and Baylor and some of our other teammates already occupying several tables in the back near the dance floor.

We sayhito our teammates, and I sink down into a chair, hating that I’m here.

I don't want to be around people that are super happy and want to celebrate, even though I should be.

I definitely don't want to bring down the vibe, but it's hard to feel anything other than regret.

---