Page 63 of Nash

I laugh at that thought.

After a few personalized goals from Coach, we’re released, and we head to the showers. And now that my mind isn’t actively focused on practice, my thoughts immediately turn to Reese.

It's been a week, and I still haven't been able to connect with her, the two of us so incredibly busy during playoffs. I hate the sour taste it leaves in my stomach but it's hard to ignore. I feel like everything changed after the night we decided to stop playing pretend, but then we both got hit with career demandswe couldn't ignore, and now I'm feeling the distance more than I ever have before.

This is completely new territory to me, and I don't know how to feel in my own skin. There are so many times in the past week that I’ve opened up a text, typing out something long and romantic, only to quickly delete it.

She's been so hard to get ahold of, and I can’t stop the fear mounting inside of me that she's making good on the joke she made when we first agreed to a fake relationship after New Year's Eve. The one where she was going to make me fall in love with her only to break my heart.

We’d laughed about it then, and I thought it was going to besuperfunny to watch her try.

I didn't think I was capable of falling in love, too focused on my career and my family to make room for anything else in my heart.

Reese changed things.

Opened up parts of me I didn't know I’d closed off when I became a caretaker in my family almost a decade ago.

I don’t think she’s playing a role or still doing her best to drag me along in this effort to get views on the page, but after not seeing her, holding her, touching her, or hell, even having long phone conversations with her like we used to in the beginning, it’s hardnotto think about it.

Tonotthink about the possibility that she may be enacting some sort of revenge against me for being a cocky bastard with a mission to get under her skin anytime I could in the past.

Maybe I deserve to have my heart broken.

Maybe that's what love is—opening yourself up to all sorts of pain and panic and questionability.

Fuck, I've never dealt with it before. And I certainly don’t enjoy this part. I never used to question anything, and now I’m questioningeverything. Insecurity isn’t something I usuallyhave, but I can’t deny it now. And I hate it because we were both doing so damn well.

Her with her page and us soaring through playoffs with a real shot at the Cup. The Badgers had never performed so well, and I couldn't be prouder. My dad was on the mend, in a way that we never thought possible, and the bills we're getting paid. Not only that, the deals that I’d gotten because of the attention on social media allowed me to take care of my family in a way I always hoped. I’m finally able to save for myself too. Everything is falling into place except for the distance I’m feeling.

I shake my head, doing my best to breathe out of this sensation.

I know Reese.

Sure, we liked to joke around, but that’s one of the things that makes us work so well.

There’s never a dull moment, everything is surprising.

She wouldn't play me.

I dry myself off after the shower, the locker room absolutely vibrating with excitement thanks to our recent string of wins.

I should be focused on that.

Should be focused on the fact that our team is in sync in a way we’ve never been before.

But I can't stop thinking about how bad it’s going to hurt if I made a serious mistake in giving my heart to Reese.

Fucking hell, how do people do this relationship thing even once, let alonemultipletimes?

I get dressed, sliding a shirt over my head, and the angle has my viewpoint snagging on a group of guys across the way. Daniel is glaring at me like I shit in his gear bag.

I do a double-take, looking behind me to make sure he's looking at me the way I think he's looking at me.

There’s no one behind me.

I tilt my head, nodding to him.

“What's going on, Daniel?” I ask.

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