Page 45 of Nash

“How many is it now?” Crossland asks, looking at Coach.

“Sara says we have a dozen or more in the mix, fifteen already signed.”

I beam brighter at that. Especially knowing Nash has secured several of those deals. The Liquid IV deal, and then the one that came in last month from one of his favorite companies, Roosevelts. They’re still ironing out the details, but that’s almost a done deal.

A bite of guilt gnaws at my insides as they continue to shower me with their praise. I’m grateful for the socials’ performances, but a part of me feels…dirty. Because the content that started it all is based off a lie.

Orwas.

I don’t know anymore.

It’s been four months, almost five now, and while Nash and I still pose for the page, we don’t do it as often now, but not because we don’t want to. It’s more we forget, too wrapped up in each other to remember to pull out the camera.

“Is there anything you need from us?” Crossland asks, drawing me back to the present.

My eyes widen. The owner of the Bangor Badgers is asking if I need anything from him. Holy shit. “Um…” Wow. I’m so elegant when I want to be. I clear my throat. “I’m doing good,” I say. “The budget you’ve allotted me for ads is generous, so I have a ton to work with. I’ve even been able to use some of the excess to do giveaways for tickets.”

“Smart,” he says.

“Told you,” Coach adds.

I smile at him. Blakely’s dad has always loved me and welcomed me into his family since my first year of college.

“Is there anything you’d like to…discloseto me?” Crossland asks, offering me an empathetic grin.

It takes me a second to realize what he’s implying. “Oh,” I say, blinking rapidly, panic flaring through me.

“Forgive me for being direct,” he says. “But it’s hard not to miss a theme in your videos. And don’t get me wrong, I’m all for working relationships. Clearly.” He glances at Coach, silently referencing his daughter and Lawson Wolfe. “It’s customary to disclose it, though,” he says. “Officially with HR, but it’s nice to let me in on these things too, so I’m able to prepare in the event…” His voice trails off.

“The event we break each other’s hearts?”

“Yes,” he says. “Having a relationship with someone you work with can be amazing,” he continues. “But it can also be risky. The blowback can be a PR nightmare, not to mention sometimes creating hostile working environments. I just like to be prepared.”

“Okay,” I say, nodding a few too many times. I shake my head, sighing as I shrug. “I honestly don’t know if it’s serious enough to disclose,” I finally answer. The words sting as they come out of my mouth, the effects rattling my heart.

But it’s the truth.

Nash and I have never once spoken about being official instead of fake.

Do we behave like a loyal, monogamous, blissfully happy couple?

Absolutely.

Do I know without a shadow of a doubt he’s as invested as I am?

Absolutely not.

I think back to a month ago, in the bowling alley when I’d gotten a tad jealous of the women accosting him at the bar, and his ridiculously romantic reaction after. I can barely hold back a grin as I picture him climbing onto that table and telling the whole place he belonged to me. It was the most ridiculous and romantic thing anyone has ever done for me, but…Pax was recording. That made me question who the grand gesture was really for, but I hadn’t mustered the courage to ask.

Defining anything with someone who is a notorious bed hopper seems like asking for my blissful little joy bubble to burst. If this is fake to him, and I admit Ilikehim…he could end it.

And I’m so not ready to let him go.

I may never be ready.

“I can say,” I continue when the silence has gotten a little too thick in the room. “Nash and I are both serious enough about our careers to not let it affect our work. We’re so grateful for the roles we’re in and would never do anything to risk that. If things do go badly, you won’t see it in our work. I can promise that.”

Crossland and Coach look at me like they don’t fully believe me, but nod and smile all the same.

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