Page 84 of Shattered Hearts

Meeting my eyes, she blows out a breath. “Okay.”

Her lips tremble. She wants to make plans, but I owe Pop some time, I owe Max a helluva lot of time, and I’m going to talk to Savannah and Meredith’s mother—if she doesn’t chop my head off for trying.

“Let me catch up on some stuff. Okay?”

“Yeah,” she agrees reluctantly, and I know how she feels.

I don’t let Zarah go downstairs alone, and I hold the door open and check out the driver myself. It’s a sleek black town car, one of many I’ve seen her ride in, and nothing about it looks suspicious. Shivering in the freezing wind, I cuddle her to me and kiss her. “I’ll text you later.”

“Have a good day,” she says, and steals another kiss.

The driver opens the back door, and she slides into the seat.

“Tell me when you’re done at your appointment,” I remind her.

She lifts a hand and the car glides away.

Uneasy, I stare long after it disappears.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Zarah

As always, when we’re apart, my fingers itch to grab my phone and text him. I’m always good and never do, but the want never goes away.

The driver’s familiar, and I relax on the way to Jerricka’s office. I’ll need to talk fast to touch on everything that’s happened, but I’m excited to tell her her my progress since she came out to the house to see me after my meltdown at Gage’s apartment. I’m so thankful nothing like that has happened again. The pill bottle Jerricka gave me is tucked into my purse, and I plan on giving that back to her today. Most of the pills are still inside it. I refuse to take them anymore, and if she has a problem with that, she can speak to my brother and Dr. Reagan.

The driver opens the car door, and I step onto the empty sidewalk. Standing in the cold, he watches me go inside. Only then does he climb behind the wheel and meld into traffic. Quickly, I text Douglas to let him know I’m at my therapy appointment and that I’ll be ready to go home in an hour.

He replies an affirmative, and I text Gage I’m at Jerricka’s and Douglas will drive me home. He sends me kisses emojis and aThanks for telling me. Love you.

I don’t want to appear too needy, so I only send him kissing emojis in reply and push my phone into my purse. Douglas will tell Zane and Stella where I am. Zane’s been great letting me have my freedom—especially since Gage and I have started to spend so much time together. I appreciate his trust.

The receptionist ushers me into Jerricka’s office right away, and she’s sitting in a forest green business suit behind her desk, her platinum hair laying in a thick sheet down her back. She’s very beautiful, but she never talks about her personal life. She could be married and have six kids and I would never know.

She beams at me. “Zarah! Good morning! How have you been? Did you have a lovely—”

Calmly, I hang up my purse and jacket on the coat tree near the door. She was going to ask me if I had a lovely holiday.

“My New Year’s was better than Christmas.” We both know how I spent my Christmas. In my room, shaking, trying not to have panic attack after panic attack because I couldn’t remember certain things. I’d been sure I lost Gage.

“Good. I’m glad skipping that dose helped.”

She approaches me, and she does something she has never done in the eighteen months I’ve been seeing her. She hugs me. Her shoulders are bony, and she stoops a little. I’m used to that. The only person who doesn’t have to bend over to give me a hug is Stella.

When she releases me, I say, “It did. In fact, I stopped taking them altogether.” I hand her the orange bottle, the white child-proof cap securing the top. I feel lighter now that they aren’t in my possession anymore.

She frowns. “Completely? I wish you would have asked.”

I shrug and step across the plush carpeting to look over the city. It’s a new year. That means a new start. Can I have a new start? Having Gage in my life, it seems more things are possible.

“I didn’t like how they made me feel. Forgetful, scared. They did the opposite of what you said they would do. I’ll tell Zane, and he’ll understand.”

Jerricka smooths out her face and rattles the pills in the bottle. “That won’t be necessary. I’ll communicate with him myself. I’m proud of you for making your own decisions regarding your health.”

“Thank you.” My muscles loosen. I don’t like it when people are mad at me. “Speaking of taking control, I let Ingrid go.”

I sit in my usual corner of the couch, and Jerrica settles in opposite me holding her tablet.

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