Page 62 of Shattered Hearts

He nuzzles my neck, and his whiskers rub against my shoulder. “I can’t help it.”

“I don’t want you to, anyway. I like it.”

“I know you do.”

He covers my mouth with his, and our tongues glide together. After I spent the night at Gage’s, I read about the morning after. Not feelings about sex and regret, but about other things, like bad breath. That’s a worry a lot of women have. That, and our legs and armpits aren’t that smooth anymore. I don’t mind the way Gage tastes, and he must not care about how I taste either, because he’s never complained or asked me if I’d get up and brush my teeth.

We wore our pajamas to bed, and he makes quick work of mine, pulling my tank top over my head, pushing the matching shorts down my legs, and throwing them onto the floor. He’s naked in a second, and I roll onto my back.

“Do you want to try something?” he asks, fluttering kisses all over my face.

My heart thumps heavily beneath my ribs. I do want to try something, but I’m scared of it, too. Not that Gage will hurt me, but the memories it will evoke. Memories of Ash’s jobs are like a game of tug of war. I don’t want to remember...I want to push them down deep inside where they can’t hurt me anymore. On the other hand, I need to remember, so I can remind myself Gage would never abuse me like that.

Jerricka would scold me up and down and sideways for what I think next, and maybe Gage would too, get dressed and forget the whole thing. “Sure.”I’ll do anything if you don’t leave me.

He knows me too well. “You don’t have to sound like a scared little rabbit. I’ll never hurt you, Zarah, and if you don’t like it, say so and I’ll stop right away, okay?” He cups my cheek with his hand, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t give him no matter how much it hurt me.

“Lie on your side facing the door.”

I do, tucking my pillow under my head, over my arm. My stomach is all rumbly, but I’m wet. An odd combination. Anticipation and fear. I don’t have to guess which one weighs more heavily on me right now.

He spoons me, and I relax. It doesn’t matter the situation, I’m always going to feel safe in Gage’s arms. Sliding his arm under my pillow, he laces our fingers together and nuzzles my neck with his lips. His cock is hard between us, and he moves his hips, rubbing his length against my butt. My belly tightens under his hand, and he explores my trimmed pubic hair and goes farther, parting my folds. He feels how wet I am and sucks in a breath.

“Jesus.”

“That’s good, right?” I’m still not that confident he finds me sexy. Finds me desirable. No matter how many times we have sex, make love, I’m still used. He still knows what those men did to me first.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” he whispers against my shoulder.

As he glides his fingers in and out of me in long, lazy strokes, I think this is all we’re going to do, until he parts my legs and the tip of his cock nudges me.

“I know you don’t want to make love while I’m behind you. Is this position okay?”

I nod. I swallow a lump in my throat because I understand now. He’s not trying something new for himself, he’s easing me into other positions for me. So I can enjoy sex in other ways. I pull his arm out from under the pillow and press my lips to his skin. I love him so much in this moment my heart feels like it could literally explode.

He pushes a little more into me and rubs my clit. “I put a condom on. I’ll always protect you, Zarah.”

“I know,” I say softly.

You would think this way wouldn’t be as intimate as being able to look into your partner’s eyes, but you’d be wrong. Our bodies are molded from head to toe—there isn’t one part of us that isn’t touching. Gage angles his hips, and lightly thrusting, fills me all the way.

“Are you doing okay?” he asks.

“You feel good.”

“Good.”

He rolls his hips, his hard shaft moving back and forth, and his fingers circle my clit. It’s difficult for me to move, to join in, but I don’t feel nervous or trapped. I wish I had access to his body, too, but he’s doing this for me and I relax and enjoy the gift he’s giving me.

The ball of fire builds in my belly. “Faster.”

He start rubbing me almost frantically, and his thrusts are harder, deeper. Pressing my mouth against his skin to muffle the sound, I cry out against his arm. I pinch one of my nipples, and it’s the last zing I need to fall over the edge.

Gage rides out my orgasm, pumping through it until he comes, too, and the hand he used to rub my clit is sticky as he tightens his hold on my hip. Resting his chin on my shoulder, he sinks into the mattress to catch his breath in deep, shuddering sighs.

I can’t help the tears that drip down my face, wetting his skin.

Lifting up on his arm, he whispers kisses over my cheek. “Did I hurt you?”

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