Page 43 of Shattered Hearts

“Yeah. I’ll ask Lucille to bake a chocolate cake for dessert,” Stella says.

“Sounds good. Have a lovely day, ladies.” He pushes through the swinging doors and out of the kitchen.

“We have the day free,” Stella says, helping herself to coffee.

“I need to go home and take my meds. I don’t have any here.” Only the one Jerricka prescribed on the side that I keep in my purse. I didn’t take it last night like she said, but my brain doesn’t seem any clearer. I woke up not knowing where I was, a shot of fear stopping my heart until I saw Stella sleeping next to me. So far, I haven’t forgotten who she is. I figure the minute I don’t know my future sister-in-law’s name is the day I know I’ve lost my mind forever.

“Thenwe have the day free.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“You and Gage had sex yesterday.”

I blush. “Three times.”

“Then, because we have the day free, I have the perfect plan.”

“Shopping! Lingerie. I like how you think.” I twirl, imagining the bright colors, the silks, the lace in the lingerie department at Bergdorf Goodman, but then the explosion blasts in my memory, the screams as people tried to run. The little girl crying for her mother. “Wait. Stella, people were hurt yesterday. There was a little girl...her mother might not be alive.”

Stella hugs me. “We’ll ask Peggy to call the police department and ask for a list of the people who were injured. We’ll set up a fund, okay?”

“Thank you.” I sniffle.

“You were the one who taught me. Remember the night I paid at the Sweet Apple? You gave me my money back. Up until then, I didn’t know...”

Somehow, I understand what she’s trying to say. “I wasn’t. Not then. Not the person I should have been. I don’t think I was until the first night Ash sold me. I thought I was special. That I didn’t have to follow the rules.” I poke at the mug of coffee Stella poured but didn’t drink. “People aren’t special because they have money. It couldn’t save me from Ash. Zane’s money didn’t save you. If someone wants Gage dead, my money won’t save him, either. Zane keeps saying he wasn’t who you needed him to be. How can I be who Gage needs?”

She pats my hand. “If he loves you, you already are. We’ll do something for the people who were hurt yesterday, and we’ll do something for Gage, too.”

“What?”

“We’ll put you on birth control.”

“Gage wore condoms.”

“And that was smart of him. He loves you and protected you. But, if you’re in a committed relationship, like Zane and I are, you on birth control so he doesn’t have to wear one is a good idea. I get a shot so there’s nothing to remember. Then, having sex, making love, can be a little more spontaneous. Yeah?”

“Okay. Making love without condoms. Do you like that?”

“I love it. There’s nothing better than being that close to the man you love. When Zane comes inside me, he leaves part of himself with me. I feel like we’re connected even if we’re not together.”

“The men who paid Ash never wore anything. They liked me messy.” Heat stains my face. Shame. “They made me dirty.”

“They disrespected you and hated you because of who your father was. Do you think Gage feels that way about you?”

“No. After we played, he cleaned me up. It was romantic.”

“It sounds like it was. He’s a gentleman. Let’s get you on some birth control. Then if he wants to still wear one, he can, and if you don’t want him to, he won’t have to. Being a grownup sucks sometimes, but being responsible will show him you care.”

“Okay.”

“Then we’ll grab lunch and shop. A woman has to treat herself after that. I can’t think of more unpleasant things.”

The exam won’t bother me. I’ve been checked out a couple of times since Zane discharged me from Quiet Meadows. I turn my brain off, and I will at the gynecologist’s office, too. I’ll think of Gage’s eyes bugging out of his head when I wear my new lingerie. Sex can be fun. Not dirty or shameful.

He taught me that.

Despite the crazy that’s been happening, I’m happy.

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