Page 12 of The Accidental Honeymoon

“Congratulations!” she squeals. “Can I get a picture with the newlyweds?”

Jay and I exchange looks of pure confusion.

“Newlyweds?” I ask. My voice literally could not get any shriller. If I look anything like I sound, I’ve turned into an agitated squirrel, asking braindead questions.

“Uh,yeah.” The girl rolls her eyes. “You guys were so cute last night! I can’t believe you’re still in the square. True love, right?”

She shoves her phone in our faces. The screen shows a series of photos: me in a wedding dress made of toilet paper, Jay in his rumpled tuxedo. We appear to be dancing on top of the bar at Tin Shed Pub. Then Mr. Lim, the owner of our beloved local coffee shop, is holding a bible. The next photo shows us deeply, passionately kissing.

As in, it looks like we are trying to wrestle each other or possibly climb inside of each other’s clothes.

The blush that comes to my cheeks is bright maroon, I’m sure.

The video after that shows us singing karaoke, belting out Savage Garden’s “Truly Madly Deeply”. Actually, singing is the wrong word. We’rebutcheringthe damn song. Jay’s doing a falsetto, his voice cracking every few seconds, and I can’t seem to hold my shit together for long enough to stop giggling.

While our onscreen selves continue scream-singing, I scrunch up my face. “Turn it off, please,” I ask nicely.

The fan turns her phone back to face her and grins atthe screen. “Dunno why you sound so bummed out,” she says. “This isbeyond.”

Shaking my head, I turn back to Jay. I’m freezing and ready to get my butt inside. Before I can say anything, he mutters something I almost don’t hear.

“We got married?” Jay says, more to himself than to anyone else. He looks at his hand, and my eyes follow. A simple gold band adorns his finger. He holds it up, inspecting it like it’s a foreign object. “Damn. These were supposed to belong to me and Blake.”

I look at my own left hand. I somehow hadn’t noticed the weight of it, but a diamond the size of a small planet glares back at me. “Oh, no. Jay, this is expensive. We have to?—"

“Relax,” he says, with an air of finality. He doesn’t look relaxed, though. “We’ll figure it out.”

I start to pull the ring off, but it’s stuck.Damn. Of course it’s stuck. Nothing about this makes any sense. Why would we get married?

“Remember now?” The girl is nearly bouncing. “You said you’d only do it if it didn’t cost anything. Azi did it for free. It was the cutest thing ever.”

I feel like I’m going to throw up. Not from the hangover. Okay, maybe from the hangover. Tequila is seriously nasty stuff. But it’s the sheer absurdity of the situation that gets me.

“We were joking,” I say, exasperated. As if that will somehow undo everything. “We didn’t mean it?—”

Jay cuts me off. “Can we see those pictures again?”

The girl shrugs and hands him her phone. He scrolls through the images. I peek over his shoulder, cringing at each new revelation. There’s a horrifyingly adorable qualityto them, like something out of a rom-com montage. Except this is real life, and I’m living it.

Jay lets out a low whistle. “We look pretty happy for a joke.”

I want to die. “This is going to ruin me. Jay, my bakery cannot stand a public scandal.”

“We’ll get it annulled. Seriously. No one has to know.”

I snatch the phone from him and shove it back to the girl. “Delete those.”

She pouts. “But?—”

“Please,” I say, desperation seeping into my voice. “We’re in enough trouble as it is.”

“I got most of these from your Insta, Jay. Deleting them won’t do anything.”

She has certainly got us there. While I’m making the same face as a deer caught in headlights, she starts tapping her phone screen. “One more for memories!”

Before we can protest, she makes a peace sign and pokes out her tongue. She takes a quick photo with us in the background, then beams.

“C-ute! Listen, I left a gym bag with clothes by the gazebo. Thought you might need it. Thanks for everything, Jay!”

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