Page 87 of The Accidental Honeymoon

"I didn't think the roads were that bad," he says, unzipping his parka as I lead him upstairs. "Then I walked here. It’s only two blocks!"

"Jay, you didn't have to?—"

"I wanted to."

That shuts me up. I take his coat and hang it on the rack at the top of the stairs before guiding him into the apartment and steering him straight to the wood-burning stove.

He holds his hands out to the flames. I stand behind him, unsure what to do with this rush of emotion. Gratitude?Affection? Something deeper?

I notice the quiet strength in his shoulders. The way he just does things that will make me happy without needing to make a production of it. My walls, the ones I’ve so carefully constructed, start to crumble.

I hug his back. "Thank you," I say softly.

He turns, and before I can react, he pulls me into an embrace. The robe slips from one of my shoulders, and his touch sends a shiver down my spine.

Not the cold kind of shiver, either.

"I'm warm now," he says. His breath tickles my ear.

I look up at him. Our faces are just inches apart. "Are you sure?"

He nods. “I’ve never been so sure of anything.”

I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him. Slowly, letting it build. His hands explore my back, then shape my hips. I press into him, needing to feel his heat through the thin fabric of my robe.

"I touched myself," I whisper. "Thinking about you."

He lets out a low growl and lifts me. I wrap my legs around his waist and he carries me to the futon, where we collapse in a tangle of limbs and hurried kisses.

The robe falls away. His clothes follow. The urgency we both feel is almost overpowering.

The futon is too small for him. His legs dangle over the edge and we have to shift every few moments to keep from rolling off. It's awkward and hilarious. More than once, we burst into fits of giggles. But we don't care. We're in a blissful, happy bubble.

When it's over, we lie tangled together, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on my skin. “Hey Calla?”

“Shhhhh.” I put a finger to his lips. “Let’s enjoy the silence for a while.”

“I just want to say one thing. Then I’ll shut up.”

My lips curl up. “Go ahead, husband.”

He waits for several beats. I look up at his face.

"I feel something for you. I… have feelings. For you," he stammers. “God, I’m fucking this up.”

I smooth my hand over his heart. My own is pounding out of control. “I feel the same.” It’s sort of lame, not really the declaration of love that I wanted. But it still feels good to say something.

Anything is better than the weirdness that we’ve been wading through for a week.

Jay pulls me close, kissing my head and pressing my face against his chest. I manage to grab the comforter and wrangle it over our bodies.

This is great. Too great. I wonder why we would even get the annulment.

thirty

JAY

The setof the morning show hums with energy. Bright lights bounce off shiny surfaces, creating a kaleidoscope of colors that swirl together and send bright, rainbow-inflected glints all around us.

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