Page 46 of Claimed By the Band

But tonight, those walls are crumbling.

I clench my fists, nails biting into my palms. The pain helps ground me, helps push back against the fog of artificial pheromones still clouding my mind. I tell myself it's just the drugs they were pumping through the vents. Just a chemical reaction. Nothing more.

But deep down, I know that's not entirely true.

"We did it!" Asher's voice cuts through my spiraling thoughts. He's practically bouncing up and down, eyes sparkling with victory in the dim parking lot lights. "That was amazing! I feel like spies or something."

"That was pretty quick thinking back there, Damon," Knox says, his tone laced with amusement. I'm pretty sure it's the first he's spoken all night.

Of course it would be to remind everyone of what just happened.

"Just doing my job," Damon rumbles, but there's a hint of pride in his voice.

Of course that was all it was. I feel like an idiot for the way I reacted back there. For fuck's sake, I almost put a lock pick through his eye. It was instinctive, but he didn't seem to take any offense. Even if he can't possibly know I'm an omega.

Can't possibly know how his touch and his scent in such close proximity affected me. Are still affecting me.

I force myself to focus on breathing. In through my nose, out through my mouth. The suppressants are still working. They have to be. But my skin feels too tight, too hot, and every nerve ending is screaming for something I can't let myself want. Something I hate myself for ever wanting.

"We should celebrate!" Asher declares, turning those dangerous eyes on me. "Come back to the bus with us, Alex. We've got drinks, snacks?—"

"No!" The word bursts out of me with more force than I intend. Everyone stares, and I scramble to recover. "I mean, you should definitely celebrate. But I need to get these samples to my contact for analysis. Time sensitive and all that."

Asher's face falls, and something in my chest twists painfully. He steps closer, reaching for my forehead. "Are you sure you're okay? You look flushed. Maybe you're coming down with something?—"

I jerk away from his touch, probably too quickly to be casual. "I'm fine," I insist, even as my body screams at me for moving away from him. "Really. Just tired. It's been a long night."

His eyes narrow, concern evident in his expression. Even Damon is looking at me with worry now, and that's too much. I can't handle their concern on top of everything else.

"I'll be in touch when I have results from the lab," I say, already backing away. "You guys enjoy your celebration. You earned it."

"At least let us give you a ride," Asher tries, but I'm already shaking my head.

"The station is nearby," I lie. "Thanks though."

"If you're sure," Asher says, his brows furrowed with what seems like genuine worry.

Why does he give a shit? He doesn't even know me. As far as he knows, I'm just some random beta his packmate's friend from college happens to know.

Not evenknow, really, just an acquaintance.

That's the most I ever am to anyone. The most I can ever be.

I turn and walk away before they can argue further, forcing myself to keep my pace steady even though every instinct is screaming at me to run.

"Wait," Silas calls. I turn to find him jogging after me, holding the bag of products he bought from PheroMaster. "You'll need these."

"Right," I say, taking the products quickly. Hopefully before he can notice how badly my hands are trembling. "Thanks."

Without waiting for a response, I turn and slip into the shadows on the other side of the fence ringing the property.

I can feel the pack's eyes on my back, can practically taste their concern in the air.

But I can't stop. Can't look back. Because if I do, I might do something stupid like accept their invitation. And that would be disastrous.

I make it around the corner before my legs start shaking so badly I have to lean against a wall. My hand fumbles in my pocket for my emergency suppressants, but I already know they won't be enough. Not after tonight. Not after being surrounded by alpha pheromones, both artificial and real. Not after being touched, held, protected.

The worst part is, a small, traitorous part of me wants to go back. Wants to let myself be drawn into their orbit, to bask in their warmth even if I'm nothing like the sun they all orbit around. To pretend, even just for one night, thatIcould be a part of something like that.