Page 28 of Still Falling for You

‘I told you I was fine,’ I say to Alex, not wanting to make a big deal of this, but he’s not listening. I can tell John is enjoying this a little too much.

‘What if she’d had an injury? The school would have been liable.’

My breath lodges in my lungs like a ball stuck in a blind turn in a ball-in-a-maze puzzle. Is that why he’s so angry?

At first, John only puts his hands up in defence. Then he does something that puts me positively in a fouler mood, if that’s even possible. He places both his palms on my shoulders. Alex looks like he’s going to breathe fire and incinerate him on the spot.

‘Holly, all good?’ John mumbles into my ear, digging his cold hands into my shoulders.

I shake him off, step out of both of their reaches and nod stiffly, wanting to be anywhere but here. From now on, I’m Switzerland.

‘See, Alex? No harm done. You need to loosen up a bit. Come on, Hols,’ John says jovially and takes my arm like I’m a Victorian lady in need of a chaperone. I only follow out of shock.

Once safely inside the house, I step out of his reach once more. I barely notice my boots leaving a muddy trail on the white tiles as I try to lose John, but he’s hard to get rid of, like a tick. He’s happily chatting about something like nothing has happened, but his words are going straight through me.

‘Stop this,’ I grind out and turn around, coming face to face with him.

In an instant, his easy demeanour vanishes, and his eyebrows rise in question.

I elaborate, ‘Stop using me to get a reaction out of Alex. Is this some sort of a twisted game of yours?’

‘That’s not…’ he starts but trails off as soon as he catches my expression. ‘OK. I’m sorry.’ His eyes lower in what looks like shame, or a very good attempt at appeasing me. ‘It’s not a game. I won’t lie, I get a kick out of needling him. For some reason, whenever you’re near, he’s easy to rile, but I really like you.’

I huff in disbelief.

‘Really.’ He moves closer to me, but I step back. He pauses, uncertain. ‘I just don’t like the way he talks to you, and I feel a bit protective of you. That’s why I keep winding him up. I know you don’t see me like that, but if you ever wanted to go out orsomething, let me know.’ He scratches his ear like he’s nervous. Before I have a chance to say anything, he leaves me behind, gawking in puzzlement.

When I finally join the rest of the adults, Alex has split people into two groups for the first two activities. I end up with Danielle while John ends up with Rob and Becky. Go figure.

The paddock smells distinctly of rotten chestnuts and pigs. The bucket in my hand is heavy, and whenever my arm wobbles, the apples bob from side to side. The strong smell of too-sweet apples reminds me of the homemade cider my nan used to make.

A hairy brown pig with a button-like nose approaches two girls from my group. Evie, the quiet girl from my class, and Amira, a much chattier girl with curly hair, snort with laughter as Rupert the pig makes some truly disturbing oinking noises after they shake their bucket and a few loose apples escape over the edge. I watch with amusement as another pig joins the feast, a truly feisty sow called Molly, who quickly polishes off all the leftover apples Rupert hasn’t had a chance to scoff. At finding out that Molly has eaten his breakfast, Rupert makes an angry burp-like sound that sends the girls into another fit of laughter. I can’t stop the grin spreading over my features because I’m happy for someone to finally draw a laugh out of Evie. I wonder whether Alex paired them together knowing they would hit it off.

Absentmindedly, I gaze at the adjacent paddock that houses guinea pigs and rabbits in wooden hutches. Not for the first time, I focus on a ginger head that’s shining in the sun as bright as a new copper coin. From this distance, I can see his hands are full of fluffy white bunnies. I start walking towards the fence to get a closer look, persuading myself that I need to check on Evie and Amira who have wandered off.

When I get close enough to distinguish the words between Alex and a blond-haired boy I have in my lower maths set, Ihide from their sight behind an oak tree while pretending I’m collecting acorns for the pigs.

‘If you don’t want to hold the rabbit, that’s OK. I used to be scared of rabbits when I was your age. It was the big front teeth.’ Alex pushes his front teeth over his bottom lip, and the boy laughs. Alex’s voice is so soft my knees feel unsteady. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him speak like this before.

He carries on, ‘If you want, I’ll hold Eddie for you, and you can stroke him or just feed him. I’m told Eddie really likes dandelion leaves.’ The boy nods eagerly, and Alex smiles in encouragement. My insides semi-melt until I’m reminded that he was a right pain in the arse to me a mere hour ago.

Alex lifts his eyes as if he can read my thoughts, and his lips open slightly. At the fear of being discovered eavesdropping, I stumble back, but my arm snags on a low-hanging branch, and I lose my footing. The bucket in my hand topples and half of the apples spill to the ground with multiple thuds.

I refuse to see whether Alex has spotted me and start picking up the apples without delay, my cheeks reddening.

After picking up most of them, I straighten, but something nudges against my calf with such force I have to hold on to the fence to not topple over. Something wet and rough scrapes the leg of my jeans. In a panic, I spin to be confronted by Molly’s hairy, and a bit too eager for my taste, countenance. I peek down my leg and sigh. A long trail of drool decorates my ruined jeans. I put two and two together and just about push down the bile rising in my throat. Thankfully, I can’t spot Alex anywhere.

‘Oh my god, Holly, are you OK?’ Danielle’s affected voice comes from my right. I throw a few apples to my left just to divert Molly’s attention elsewhere, and she happily trots in the direction of the tossed crunchy treats. If only Danielle could be distracted that easily.

When I spin on my muddy heel, Danielle is hovering bythe oak tree, judging my slimy, muddy jeans while pretending to be concerned. To my annoyance, her black hair is gleaming immaculately in the autumnal sun, and her cream mohair jumper and Hunter wellies only add to her posh country airs. Next to her, I look like I’ve waded through various bodily fluids. I get so angry at her pretending to be nice and at having the worst day ever while everyone is seemingly having a blast, I’m close to letting loose. If Danielle knew what was best for her, she would have left it there.

‘That was so awful,’ she coos, like I’m a baby that needs to be pacified, and her long gel nails clutch my shoulder. I try to wriggle out of her grip, but she’s a vulture gripping a carcass.

What is it with people and pigs today? Everyone seems to want to touch me or invade my personal space.

‘You were so distracted there. I thought the pig was going to pull you over.’ When she says the worddistracted, her eyes land somewhere over my shoulder. Unable to stop myself, I follow their direction, searching for Alex who’s no longer there. It’s an automatic reaction, but I pay for it dearly when I turn back. Danielle looks victorious, her pouty pink lips split into a ghost of a grin.

Fake concern scrunches up the sides of her nose. ‘Do you need to sit down for a minute?’

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