Page 26 of Ulfar

Where?

“His compass stopped working. The X didn’t mark the spot, after all.”

I don’t know.

“And what of the rangers?”

In other words, me. What will happen to me? What am I supposed to do?

“It looks like Tanis is headed back to the enclave. In the next two chapters, I bet he’ll meet up with them again. Maybe even sooner.”

Two chapters. Oh gods, that means two days. They’re coming here in two days.

“That sounds like quite the exciting book,” I intone diligently, belying the panic coiled in my gut. “I look forward to the ending. I’ll catch up on those chapters so we can continue our book club discussion. Thank you.”

There’s a lull in the discussion, having communicated the necessary message, and the timer ticks down the few minutes left.

There are so many things I want to tell him. So much weighs heavy on my heart and mind. I want to tell him about Ulfar. I want to tell him about Aesirheim. And most of all I want to tell him that I’ve changed my mind, that I want to stay here and have Ulfar’s child and live out the rest of our days together.

But I know that can’t happen. If the Syndicate could track my father down even this many years later, they could do the same to me. The cycle stops here.

“Dad?” I ask at last, voice wavering.

“Yes, my daughter?” His voice is softer now, and I can hear the tinge of exhaustion in his voice. I don’t know where they’re keeping him or if he’s in any danger, but I have to trust that the Syndicate will keep their word.

As long as I keep mine.

“I love you.” It’s what I settle on at last, but it’s far from enough. “I’ll see you soon.”

That’s the only saving grace I remind myself of as the seconds tick down. I might be leaving behind a planet and a man I’ve come to love, but I’m doing this for the sake of my family and my homeland.

Just like my dad did for me so many years ago.

“I’ll be waiting,” he says. “You are stronger than you think, Sarah. They may have our bodies, but they will never own our spirits. Remember that, my child.”

And with that, the connection cuts out, the lights dim once more, and the network resets just in time for Ulfar to open the door. I wrap my hands around my chest, bringing in my knees and trying to be as small as possible. I want to disappear. I want to go back, to make better choices, to change things. But how can I?

I am just one woman against a merciless galaxy. In the stories, the good guys always come out on top, no matter the odds.

But in real life? I’m faced with the cold indifference of fate. All I have to do now is stand tall and walk forward into the flames.

“Sarah!” He calls out in alarm, dropping his bag and rushing to my side. “What’s wrong? What happened at the doctor’s? Are you hurt?”

Not physically.

I sniff and wipe my eyes with my sleeve. I pack every emotion, every fear and feeling into a neat little box and lock it away, for both our sakes. “No, I’m not hurt.” I look up at him through tear-blurred vision and smile through the pain. “The book you gave me, I can’t find it, and I feel really bad because it was a gift.”

He furrows his brow. “Did you look in the bedroom? Where we unpacked?”

“Yeah.” Now for the hard part. “Do you think I could have left it at the campsite by mistake?” My face reddens at the memory. “We were a bit distracted by other things at the time.”

Ulfar frowns. “Could be, but let’s check everywhere around the house first. If we can’t find it, I’ll go and get it for you tomorrow. Deal?”

My heart thuds out a painful melody in my ears. A train hurtling down the tracks toward a certain disaster, and it’s too late to pull the brakes. “Deal.”

One last night with the man I’ve grown to love. One last night on this beautiful alien world. That’s all I can let myself have. But for tonight? With the last moments of my freedom, I’m going to make sure it’s a night to remember.

STARBOUND

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