Page 22 of Orri

With a growl, I roll us over so that now I'm the one straddling her. She looks so beautiful like this, hair splayed out around her and cheeks ruddy and skin marred with dirt and scratches. We're both covered in sweat and even I'm starting to take deeper, heavier breaths.

That's when I realize something about Isabella that I hadn't noticed before. The easy way she smiles up at me. The half-lidded look of peace, of satisfaction — no matter what I did or how much I tried to be a good partner — that's something I never saw on Zannah's face.

Not once.

The realization hits me all at once like a punch to the gut. Had I simply been deluding myself, all this time? Thinking that Zannah and I would be together forever, when it was only me who felt that strongly about her? I don't know, and I don't think I want to know.

I do know that if I give in now, all those years in mourning will have been for nothing. I know we promised each other we would try to get through this with as little shame as possible, but I'm learning just how hard that is. Easier said than done, that's for sure.

I do like Isabella. A lot. And not just because she's an omega and I'm an alpha. But I also still love Zannah. I love what we had together, even if it wasn't the perfect relationship. And I'll never get over the grief and guilt I feel over losing her.

It's not possible to have more than one heart-mate. It's just not. Everyone knows that. So either Zannah wasn't really my mate at all, or...

I grimace. I can't let myself think like that. It would undo all these years of grieving. All these years punishing myself, and for what?

I'm not ready to face the answers yet. I can't. So I jerk up. Try to pretend everything's normal. I hold out a hand to help Isabella off the ground, and by some miracle I'm not shaking.

I ignore her look of confusion. I don't say a word. Simply turn back to the task at hand. It's the only thing I know I can count on. It's the only thing that makes sense anymore. I can’t fall in love with anybody, especially a human omega.

SOMEONE BETTER

ISABELLA

A FEW DAYS LATER

Ilet out a breath as I stretch both of my arms above my head. One leg is stretched out behind me, while I balance precariously on the other. My core aches, but I'm almost done, just a few more seconds...

"Aaah." With a relieved sigh, I right myself and loosen my neck, rolling it back and forth. Every morning since the 'training' with Orri, I've been doing some of the stretches and poses he recommended. I don't know exactly how they would help me defend myself, but he says everyone needs a good foundation. If these stretches help me build my muscles and stamina, then it's a win in my book.

Grabbing the towel I brought with me, I wipe the sweat from my forehead and head for the bathroom, in desperate need of a shower.

I've been trying to keep myself busy now that my heat is over. Trying to focus on my exercises and watching over baby Ray while her parents ran errands. But even when Orri's not here, I still find myself thinking of him.

Still find myself aching for him.

It's stupid. He's not even my mate.

But I can't lie to myself anymore. When I think of Orri leaving, or Orri with another woman...

I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

Whatever is going on between us, I don't want it to end.

He's grumpy and caring and rough and gentle in all the right ways, and he makes me feel things I thought I never could. The sex was great, of course, but it's so much more than that. The way he holds me at night when I can't sleep. The determined look in his eye the day he rescued me from the compound.

The inner struggle I see in his eyes every time he catches me looking.

This has all gotten so complicated so fast, and I don't know what to do. I talked to Lara briefly before returning to the cottage, and she told me she went through something similar. She did say, however, that if I truly cared for him, I need to tell him.

Holding it inside will lead to regrets, and after the pasts both Orri and I have had, we can't afford any more of those.

So that's it. I've got to confront him about all this. I've got to tell him how I feel. And I've got to hope that he doesn't dump me completely because of it.

The sound of movement distracts me and I wobble on my feet, losing my balance just enough until...

A strong hand catches me, the warmth steady and reassuring.

I look up at him, lips parted, mind racing. How long had he been there?

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