Page 32 of Rathgar

I could get the thrill of battle, bring back a trophy for Janie, maybe a skin to use as a blanket for the new baby. All that and the thought of her jumping my bones the minute I get in the door?

“Welcome to the team,” Soren says with a wink, and we go to join the others once more.

Even though I know its necessary, I’m not excited about telling Janie I’ll have to leave again. If we’re lucky, it won’t be long and I’ll be in her arms again before I know it.

If we’re not lucky…I’m not even going to think about it.

On my way back to our house I pick up Janie’s favorite snack. The pregnancy cravings have mostly subsided, but I can’t go a day without hearing her talk about hafta nuts. She tried them for the first time when Iris got into my duffel bag and started pulling out random things. Ever since then, she’s been hooked on the unique salty and savory flavor.

It’s not much of a peace offering, but I want to remember the look of joy and gratitude on her face. I want to fix it in my mind and my memory so that she’s never far away.

That, and she’s eating for two, after all. What kind of alpha would I be if I didn’t feed my hungry omega?

“I’m home!” I call as I push open the door and step inside. Janie’s reclining on the couch watching something on her tablet while Iris sleeps next to her. One hand holds her tablet aloft while the other cradles her pregnant belly. My heart pangs and softens again at the sight of the child’s small, sleeping body. Not to mention the little one growing inside of Janie.

For their sake, I have to fight. I have to do this.

Janie looks up, her face breaking into a smile. “Welcome back,” she says. “Everything all right? I know you rushed out in a hurry.”

My face darkens, throat closing for a second. She wastes no time getting to the point — never has.

But I’m an alpha warrior of Aesirheim, second only to Soren himself. I will not stand down. “There’s something I need to talk to you about,” I say carefully, sitting down on the remaining edge of the couch.

I hate the way her face instantly morphs into concern, then fear. “What’s wrong?” Even her voice loses the cheer it had only moments ago. I hate this. I hate all of this. But I remind myself — and I’ll remind her — that it’s for us. For our future. Together.

“Remember when I left the last time?” There’s no easy way to say this.

Her frown deepens; she shifts to sit up straighter. Iris, for her part, stays fast asleep — for now. “Yeah…?”

I draw my bottom lip between my teeth before huffing out a breath and steeling myself. “There have been attacks, and they’re getting closer. Soren needs us to go and stamp them out before they get any closer.” I rub the back of my neck, knowing how she’s going to take it. “Soren’s going, too, if that makes you feel any better.”

Janie stays still for a moment, lips parted only slightly in question, eyes wide and confused. Then it dawns on her. The emotion and the pain visibly washes over her body like the darkness of a thunderstorm. She looks away from me and over to Iris instead. But even from this angle, I can see the tears at the corner of her eyes. Can see the taut line of her jaw, trying to hold back the tide.

Iris stirs, blinking open groggy eyes. When she rolls over, she sees me sitting there and raises a hand to wave at me. At least she’s still smiling. “Rah-rah,” she mutters sleepily.

Stars, this is hard. I knew it would be difficult to leave her again, especially with her advancing pregnancy and my advancing feelings, but the look on her broken face and Iris’s sweet, innocent expression gut me deeper than any sword.

“You’re leaving again.” Janie’s voice is flat. Final. It’s not a question.

“Yes,” I say with a sigh. “But I don’t want to keep you in the dark, Janie. Not like last time.”

“You said…” She whispers. A single tear falls and she sniffs, swiping it away before turning her head.

“I know.” And she’s right. There’s nothing I can say to magically make it better. That’s what makes this the hardest part of all. “If I had any other choice…”

Janie shrugs. She bends down and picks up Iris, cradling her in her lap. Iris clings to her chest and makes my heart ache even more. “Soren has to leave Lara sometimes too, you know. They’ve made it work. You know your sister better than I do. Maybe you could talk to her about it.”

She doesn’t answer for a long while. Maybe she wants me to leave. Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. I’m about to throw in the towel and turn away when she speaks again. “How long?”

More uncertainty. More disappointing non-answers. “I won’t be long. And Soren’s got a private comms line. You’ll know if anything changes.”

She’s still frowning, but her demeanor lightens a bit. “I’ll be back before you know it,” I promise, taking her hand. “I meant what I said the other night.” I press a soft kiss to her knuckles. “I’ve got to go, but I’m not leaving. I’m not leaving you, Janie. And I’m not leaving Iris, and I’m not leaving our child. I will be back. I swear to you.”

Another stray tear falls, but she nods and squeezes my hand. “Be safe.”

“I will,” I promise, leaning forward to kiss her forehead.

“Rah-rah?” Iris cranes her head to look at me, her face crumpled in confusion. “What about the monsters under the bed?”

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