Page 28 of Rathgar

“I know.” Soren smiles and takes another sip. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and observes me, chin resting on his hands. “Sure, I was a bit more enthusiastic about my prospects, but I still didn’t expect to find my heart-mate.” His eyes glaze over the way they always do when he talks about Lara. I used to find it uncomfortable, but in the wake of everything that’s happened, it’s kind of endearing.

“So when did I know?” Soren continues, tilting his head in thought. “It’s not like I had a sudden revelation or anything. It’s the little things. The way she smiled. The way her body felt against mine. The way I felt when I thought about losing her…” He sighs and shakes his head. “It’s when I realized that I could not go back to the way things were before. That she had wormed her way into my heart and soul, and I couldn’t see a life without her in it.” When he smiles this time, his eyes are far away. Wistful. “I knew I’d do whatever it took to keep her safe.”

“Janie’s…” I don’t know how to start. Much less, how to explain the jumbled mess of fears and confusion in my mind. “She’s not like Lara. She’s energetic and kind-hearted, but seems to take issue with the way I treat her. It’s almost like she’s scared of me, despite everything I’ve done to the contrary.” I stare into my drink, looking for answers in the dark bubbles. “I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this mating thing.”

“I wouldn’t jump to that conclusion just yet.” Soren waves down the bartender and orders another round. I know I need to get back home and back to Janie, but Soren and I hardly ever get to talk anymore. And this is important.

“So what should I do?” I mutter, more to myself than to him. “Is she actually that scared of me? Did she say anything to you or Lara when she was staying there?” Maybe I was missing something. If Janie would talk to anyone about it, she’d talk to her sister. Maybe Soren had overheard something.

“I know you’re a good listener, Rathgar. And I know you’re a details man. Think. Did she talk about her past at all?”

I frown, thinking back. Little by little, her words came back to me. Her fears. Her troubles.

Not to mention how angry and how protective I’d gotten over her mistreatment. “Her ex. That’s what this is about.”

Soren nods. “I do believe so. It’s not so much that she’s scared of you. She’s been traumatized by men in general, and at such a young age. Think about it. Imagine losing your parents. Your job. Having to struggle to make ends meet and put food on the table, all while carrying a child.”

When he put it like that…

My fists clench under the table and my heart squeezes with unbidden emotion. The slime ball that left her better be glad he’s not in the same solar system, or he’d be getting a piece of my mind.

“And that’s not all,” Soren continues. “She’s got to look after an infant on her own, with only her sister to count on for company. They were so desperate that Lara signed up for the ISA, remember? That’s how they came here in the first place.”

“Oh yeah…” My face falls. I’d spent so much time paying attention to the wrong details, when I didn’t stop to think that this was all such a huge change for her. Add on to that her bad experiences with men, and no wonder she was still skittish.

“She is still new to our world, Rathgar. As is Lara, for that matter. It is not easy to adjust to an entirely new planet. A new culture. A new atmosphere. Surely you remember our early days patrolling the Fringe?”

“Boy, that takes me back.” I finish my drink and lean back in my chair, reminiscing about the days gone by. Soren and I had explored the far reaches of the galaxy and had to spend months on inhospitable planets with nothing but our wits to guide us. We made it through, but those were tough times.

The difference was, we’d trained our entire lives for that kind of thing. Lara and Janie had not.

“In the face of everything they’ve gone through, I daresay Janie is one of the bravest women I’ve had the fortune to meet. Her and Lara both.” His eyes mist over again, and my thoughts turn to the woman staying in my home.

My omega.

“All those months you were gone, Rathgar, she was terrified. She thought you’d given up on her just like every other man in her life had. I know you had your order, but you should have known better. Should have done better. But you still have a chance to make it right. Go to her. Her and Iris both. And think about this: when you were gone and she was still vulnerable and needy, she could have gone to any male, any alpha she wanted.”

I tense and push myself up from the table, muscles reacting on instinct. Soren simply holds a hand up to stop me. “But she didn’t.” He makes sure I’m paying attention, and then, “because she was waiting on you.”

Oh. Oh. I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. She acted like she’d rather be anywhere else most of the time. She defied me at every turn.

And now this?

“Give her time, Rathgar.” Soren says before standing and taking the mugs back to the bar. “She’s a strong woman, and a powerful omega. You two aren’t that different, when you think about it.”

As Soren walks with me back to our homes, I do think about it. By the time we part ways, I have a new plan to win Janie over. Not with brute force or lavish gifts, but with the most precious resource of all: time.

NESTING INSTINCT

JANIE

“That was fun, huh, Iris?” We’re both carrying baskets stuffed full of mushrooms after a successful morning helping in the gardens. They’re nothing like the towering mushroom forests that Iris loves so much, but they’re hand-sized and perfect for cooking.

Iris swings her basket back and forth happily, humming a tune as we walk down the path back home.

As my pregnancy progresses, so too does my ‘relationship’ with Rathgar. I say that in quotes because I’m still not really sure what we are. Contract mates, yes. A surrogate for the alpha? Of course. But my feelings beyond that elude me even on the best of days, and he’s not exactly forthcoming with his own.

I’m thinking about something Lara told me, about when she first fell for Soren. I remember our conversation well, even though it feels like forever ago now. Hearing her voice for the first time after months of being stuck on Earth was the greatest gift I could have gotten. Little did I know I would soon be joining her among the stars.

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