Page 43 of Rathgar

JANIE

I jerk awake, flashes of the raid still fresh in my mind. But my half-asleep mind is soon at ease when I see Rathgar slipping out of bed with a sleepy Iris.

“What’s the matter?” I mumble, rubbing my eyes. It’s not even light out yet. What are they doing up?

“Don’t worry about it,” Rathgar promises me. He leans down to press a kiss to my forehead and tuck an errant strand of hair behind my ear. “Get some sleep.”

“But…” I feel like all I’ve been doing is sleeping, but Rathgar and the doctors say that’s natural. My belly — no, my whole body — feels like an overinflated balloon, and if I don’t have this baby soon, I might pop.

I want to get up, to help them with whatever they’re doing, but my body has other ideas. Everything feels so heavy, and moving is about as easy as trudging through quicksand. I know he’s looking out for me, but I don’t like sitting around doing nothing. Never have.

But as I pull the blanket a little closer around me and snuggle further into my nest, maybe this time can be an exception.

Vague, varied thoughts float through my half-conscious mind. Am I dreaming, or am I simply thinking? I don’t know. Thoughts and connections come and go like leaves down a stream.

Fire flickering outside the window. Shouts and footsteps. Splintering wood.

Iris crying in my arms. The damp cell

Rathgar, chasing us through the forest.

Kovarx’s dead body, still impaled on Rathgar’s sword as we screw like animals.

And Iris, sweet, sweet, Iris, calling Rathgar ‘Dada’ for the first time.

Despite what he thinks, Rathgar’s really a better father than he gives himself credit for. He’s caring and gentle where it counts, and the love he’s shown both me and my daughter have changed my life. I thought I could never trust a man again after the incident with Iris’s father.

But then again, Rathgar’s not just a man. He’s an alien, and an alpha, a warlord of Aesirheim.

And my husband-to-be.

I still can’t believe he proposed to me in the heat of the moment with a dead body right next to us. It’s crazy when I think about it, but somehow? It suited him. Suited us. And maybe I was possessed with the same crazy, because not only did I say yes, we went at it like beasts until we were both covered in sweat and dirt, as well as our enemies’ blood.

There’s no way I’m going to be able to sleep like this, so with a huff I pull aside the covers and carefully get out of bed. My back hurts. My feet hurt. My breasts hurt. When am I supposed to give birth again? It can’t be long now, right?

Soft fur slippers rest beside the bed; I slip my feet into them, grateful for their warmth. Rathgar felled a creature on one of his hunts and used the pelt to make a blanket for Iris, among other things. The slippers remind me that even though Rathgar is a cinnamon roll when it comes to Iris, he’s still a skilled warrior and an excellent hunter.

Throwing a shawl over my shoulders, I pad my way into the kitchen to see the rest of my family.

The word strikes a chord in my heart the way it never has before. Family. I had it with Lara, I had it with Iris, and now I have even more. With Rathgar and our upcoming child.

I stand there in the doorway for a moment, just watching them. I don’t think they even notice I’m here yet, so absorbed they are in their task.

The sun just barely rises outside the kitchen window. The sky’s a brilliant golden hue the same color as Rathgar’s skin.

In the gathering light of the kitchen, Rathgar and Iris sit at the table with a bowl of fruits by their side. Soft melon. Bananas. Grapes. There are also several cookie cutters in all different shapes such as flowers, hearts, and diamonds. Iris holds a plastic knife and follows Rathgar’s lead. His huge golden hands guide her own, pointing out each color and shape.

Educational and delicious. Smart.

I stay there for a second longer before revealing myself, just reveling in the warmth of affection that has grown in my heart. When I first met Rathgar, I thought he was a boisterous, grumpy alpha who didn’t like anyone.

And while he can still have a surly personality at times, I’ve peeled back the layers to find the man underneath. Beneath the bravado and the muscles lies a loyal, steadfast lover who simply wants to make me happy.

Not just me, either. He took Iris in as if she were his own kin, and I have no doubt that he will be just as wonderful a father to our next child.

A soft thud in my lower belly reminds me just how pregnant I am. Soon, Iris will have a new baby brother or sister. My life will get a lot busier, but I’ve raised a newborn once before. And this time I have more help.

I never thought I’d actually find a man who I could trust again. I never thought I’d fall in love again, period. When I signed up for the ISA, it was simply something I had to do for the sake of my family. Now, I thank my lucky stars that it brought us together.

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