Page 30 of Rathgar

It’s a great luxury to have the space and resources to do something like this. Back on Earth even having a blanket of my own would have been a tall order. Now here I have a cozy nest filled with all my favorite things, a place to relax, cuddle, and just be.

I sink down into the pile of pillows, cradling my stomach. The baby’s growing larger by the day, and they’re up and active after the large meal, pressing against my stomach with kicks and flutters that send my heart racing. My eyes droop closed and I pull one of the chunky knit blankets over my lap until I hear his footsteps again.

“You all right in here?” Rathgar peeks into the room. His face lights up when he sees me like this, and the baby must realize he’s near as well. Another swift kick and I let out a gasp, hand going to my stomach.

“Rathgar, the baby’s kicking. Come here. You can feel it.”

For a moment he looks confused. Then worried. “…kicking? Is that good?”

“Yes, it’s wonderful. Means they’re healthy and happy and learning to move inside of me.”

His face goes a little green at the prospect, but I laugh and wave him over again. “It’s fine, I promise. Human babies do this all the time in the womb. Come, I want you to feel this.”

Rathgar still looks a bit uneasy, but he steps into the room and closes the door. Kneeling next to the nest, he takes my hand and covers it with his own. I’ll never get over the warm strength of his palms. The weight of his body next to mine.

“Show me.”

I take his hand and position it over my stomach, just in time for another kick. His eyes widen and he nearly jerks his hand away.

“I-incredible…” The look of sheer reverence on his face is not something I’ll forget any time soon. He looks like he’s just witnessed a miracle.

And honestly, come to think of it? He kind of has.

The circumstances of our mating are a miracle all their own, but when I think about how hard it is for Aesir couples to conceive children, I feel another rush of womanly pride.

“What’s the matter?” I say softly, taking my other hand to cup his face. “Is the big mean warrior at a loss for words?”

Maybe I’m playing with fire, being so forward with him like this. I can blame it on the hormones tomorrow.

But tonight? Maybe I want to get burned.

“Does this answer your question?” His voice comes out raw, loaded with emotion and desire.

With one hand on my stomach, he leans in before covering my mouth with his own. He uses the little gasp of surprise to his advantage, slipping his warm, wet tongue along the crease of my lips before delving inside, deepening the kiss further. My hand drops from his cheek and instead goes to the back of his neck, joining my other hand as I pull him closer.

My body melts into the kiss, all the tension and stress of the recent past dissolving with each second we’re glued together. He breaks away, breathing hard, and I make a garbled sort of noise before reaching for him again. "We shouldn't..." I whisper, trying to keep some semblance of rationality. I told myself I wouldn't get attached. That I would only do what was necessary.

So why does having him around feel so right?

"Shouldn't we?" Rathgar rumbles, hot and heavy next to my ear. I shiver at the feel of his breath on my skin. He pulls back just far enough that I can see his eyes and the sincerity behind them. "I know I'm not the perfect man, Janie. I know I make mistakes, and I know you deserve a man who can give you the world. Who can give you more than I ever could..." He trails off, breaking eye contact.

"Rathgar..." Even the sound of his name on my lips triggers something deep in my chest. I reach for him again.

"If you want me to leave..." He starts to sit back up. "If you want me to stop..." Rathgar frowns. Shakes his head. "When I chose to be your alpha, I promised never to hurt you. But what I didn't realize was that making things work with another person is about more than just a contract or a set of rules. It's about trust. And communication. Neither which I've done a stellar job at."

I watch him through tear-blurred eyes. Rathgar, the big bad alpha, was admitting that he did something wrong? I thought I'd never see the day.

"When you disappeared," I say softly, my chest seizing with emotion. "I didn't know what to think. All that kept running through my mind was..." My face darkens as my old memories come and try to spoil this intimate moment. I know that Rathgar is really trying. I try and fail to swallow the lump in my throat. "You know. Before."

Rathgar bows his head. He places his right fist to his chest while holding my hand with the other. "I should never have left my omega alone and in need. I never planned to be gone for so long, but one thing led to another. I was thoughtless. And I was wrong."

It wasn't going to change everything overnight, but the fact that he realized how he'd hurt me meant more than words could say. This time, I'm the one at a loss for words.

"I know I'm not the best man, or the best alpha, or the best mate. I never intended to pair with anyone, much less an omega from Earth. I thought Soren was crazy to even suggest it. But then I met you...and you turned out to be one of the most maddening women I've ever met." He lets out a wistful laugh, and when he looks into my eyes once more, the pure adoration I see there disarms what little defenses I have left.

"I can't promise you that I'll never have to leave again. And I can't promise you that I'll always know the right thing to say or to do. But I can promise that I will protect you and Iris and our baby until my dying day -- if you'll let me."

No one had ever said that to me before. No one had ever cared about me that way or taken the time to put themselves out there. I was always looking after others and putting myself last. But with Rathgar, he makes me feel like a queen. He makes me feel like maybe I am worthy of love after all.

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