Page 22 of Rathgar

That will have to be enough.

The nurses come by almost every day lately, or at least it seems like it. I got a positive pregnancy test only days after Rathgar left. What should have been a happy occasion only shadowed with worry and uncertainty.

Another absent father.

Soren tries to comfort me. He tells me that Rathgar is away on a mission, that he would be here if he could, but their operation ran into some complications. Whatever that means.

I know Soren and Rathgar are best buddies, but Soren’s no nonsense attitude wouldn’t let him lie about Rathgar, even for my sake. Soren insists Rathgar will come back, but I’m tired of waiting.

When?

I’ve been staying with Lara and Soren all this time, and the nurses tell me I’m heading into the second trimester. One down, two to go. My belly is starting to swell and even Iris notices, tapping a hand on the baby bump when I hold her in my lap. I try to tell her she will have a new baby brother or sister on the way, but I don’t think she understands. That’s okay. She will soon enough.

I’m eating breakfast with Lara, Soren, and Ray when Soren’s tablet pings and he looks up. “It’s them.”

My heart leaps into my throat. “Them…?” I start.

Soren nods. “I’ve just gotten word. Rathgar and the rest of the war band will be returning today.”

“Today?” I croak, nearly choking on my cereal. All this time I’ve been waiting, and now that it’s here I don’t know what to do. I’ve been holed up here, hiding from the future and hiding from my duty. I know Soren doesn’t approve of me staying here. He says that an omega female, especially one that’s with child, should stay in the domicile provided by her alpha male.

And that would make sense, you know, if he was actually here.

Soren gives another curt nod. He furrows his brow, scrolling through the announcement on his tablet. “Hmm.” He says, and puts the device away.

I don’t like the sound of that. “What’s ‘hmm’?” I try to play it off as mere curiosity, but the truth is I need to know if Rathgar’s okay. If he even remembers me at all.

Soren levels his gaze at me. It’s the cold stare of a hardened general, but I stand my ground. “Rathgar did ask about you.”

My heart leaps and my stomach flips more times than the pancakes we ate this morning. “Oh?” I try to sound casual, but the waver in my voice betrays me.

“Yes.” Soren says. He links his fingers together and rests his chin on them, observing me from across the table. I squirm, but I don’t look away. “He wants to know how you’re enjoying the lodgings he so kindly prepared for you.”

Oh.

I didn’t expect that. Guilt comes first, starting in my throat and working its way down to my chest and stomach. I knew it was tradition, but when he put it like that…

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath through my nose. No. I’d made this decision because it was best for me, Iris, and the baby. That’s what mattered, not what Rathgar thought. He hadn’t even been here for three months!

Next came anger. My fists clenched under the table. He left without a word — after the best sex of my life, mind you — and expected me to stay alone in an unfamiliar house, just waiting for him?

Preposterous.

Lara silently gripped my hand from her seat beside me. “It’s been a joy having you here, but now that he’s back…”

I gulped. The time that I spent with him felt like heaven. I was just getting used to the fact that maybe, a man actually cared about me for once. That he wanted to make a real go of it, to care for a growing family.

Now I didn’t know what to think.

A carnal part of me quivered in excitement and anticipation. It had been so long, and I couldn’t wait to see him again. But would it be the same?

I bit my lip and let out another breath, shaking my head. “He can come get me if he wants me.” I paused, debating the last words, and then: “I will not wait for a man.”

Soren’s eyes flash at the perceived insult, but what’s he going to do? Lara’s right there, as well as our children.

I stand up from the breakfast table, my mind still reeling. Thoughts fly back and forth across my brain, busier than the spaceport at rush hour. I wanted him. I hated him. I needed him. He left me. I wasn’t going to bow to his wishes. But he’d been nothing but good to me, at least in the time we were together…

“I’m going for a walk.” I say. “I need to clear my head.”

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