Page 27 of Mated to the Pride

The longer I left it, the worse I was going to feel. Already I could practically feel the box’s presence behind me when I turned my back; if I actually tried to sleep as I’d told Preston, I’d only end up lying there with my eyes closed imagining all the horrible possibilities. The anger and the hurt. What a horrible beginning for a new life.

Swallowing hard, I headed into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

* * *

I knew you weren’t supposed to stare at the thing while it developed. I knew it took a couple of minutes; I knew that watching it would only make the time pass more slowly. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to look away, as though I’d blink and miss it. As though the result would disappear before I could see it.

Since it was impossible to distract myself with completely unrelated thoughts, instead I tried to soothe myself. For one thing, I loved babies. I had always imagined myself as a mom one day — just not quite yet. Besides, in my daydreams, I’d always known exactly who the father was.

Okay, except that one time I imagined Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth fighting over me, but… that barely counted. And this was real life.

What else? Well. Some couples tried foryearsto get pregnant, even when they badly wanted it. You had to have sex at the right time in your cycle. Had to be fertile. A whole host of other things that I couldn’t remember. I remembered my friend Natalie trying a whole load of crazy superfood shakes to try and coax her body into a more fertile state.

I hadn’t done any of that. I’d been stupid, and let my desires run away with me without thinking about where it might lead. Surely, I could be forgiven for that. Surely the universe wouldn’t…

I swallowed, and a pit formed in my stomach.

A line was fading into view — unmistakably, even when I blinked rapidly to dismiss any tricks my eyes were playing on me and pulled it closer to examine it.

I was pregnant.

My lip trembled. Moments later, I was curling over the edge of the toilet bowl retching. Fear clenched my stomach so tight I couldn’t hold it. I was assailed with a train of frantic, accelerating thoughts. The impossible pain of childbirth, which I had always feared I’d never be ready to bear. The panic of having to identify the father. The thought of being abandoned; the thought ofnotbeing abandoned, and breaking up this family in the process.

I didn’t know what to do with myself. When I finished vomiting, I slumped to the floor, head tipped back against the cool porcelain tiles, and dabbed the tears out from under my eyes with a shaking hand.

I should have expected this. Doctor Gray had a knowing look in her eyes as soon as I falteringly answered her question. Clearly, it matched all my ‘symptoms’. No wonder I’d been feeling especially morose about my situation with the North men recently. Some subconscious part of me knew exactly what I was walking into.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath — then quickly concluded that it wasn’t deepenough. A problem like this needed cool, fresh air. Nottechnicallywhat the doctor ordered, but… well. The vitamin supplements wouldn’t be arriving for a while. I just had to make sure that Preston and Hale didn’t see me. Right now, I figured I’d break down the second any of them looked at me — let alone spoke to me or insisted I needed an escort outside. I couldn’t bear sharing the truth with them just yet.

Hell. I could hardly bear it myself.

I swallowed, forcing myself to calm down for the few moments it would take me to sneak out of the cabin. Maybe this was one more stupid idea in a series of stupid ideas, but being trapped in this room with my thoughts wasn’t going to help me either.

I listened at the door. There were no footsteps in the hallway. If I strained my ears, I could hear the shower running in the boys’ room. My ears blushed deep red, plunging me into a graphic memory of what Hale and I had done together in there. Why did it still turn me on, even now? Even after I knew what was happening to me? Ignoring my rapid heartbeat, I closed my eyes and tried to focus. Okay, so one of them was in the shower. And the other?

Right on cue, I heard the sound of the TV buzzing into life. I couldn’t make out the words, but it sounded like a newscaster’s voice. Hopefully, that’d keep Hale-or-Preston sufficiently distracted while I made my escape. At least they wouldn’t be expecting this. If they were, I wouldn’t stand a chance of getting by them.

I stowed the test away in the bathroom cabinet, not wanting anybody to walk in on it by accident. Tying my hair up into a quick topknot, I slipped out into the empty corridor. The shower was running, and the TV still blaring. With my footsteps light, it wasn’t too difficult to make my way to the back door and quietly unlatch it. Only when I was outside did I let out my breath, but the next breath in was exactly as calming and restorative as I had hoped. With the sun beaming down on me and that breeze lifting the loose strands of my hair, I felt like I might be able to handle this. At least, I’d find a way.

After all, I did have one lucky factor I hadn’t considered yet. Every single one of the North men would make an excellent father. Blake’s stern strength and quiet kindness would help keep any unruly child on the right path. By contrast, it wasn’t hard to picture Hale pitching up the world’s biggest and coolest pillow fort — or Stone reading a nightly bedtime story, complete with enthusiastic character voices and sound effects. Preston’s thoughtfulness and individuality would set a perfect example for a child to follow their own path, and be mindful of their choices.

My heart throbbed. At the center of all this, no matter how much I panicked or paced, was a new life. Already, I knew that the options of terminating the pregnancy or giving the baby up for adoption were completely out of the question. Though I’d only just learned it existed, I already felt a deep connection between us which I had no intention of severing.

I just wondered which other connections I’d be severing in the process.

I looked over my shoulder as I reached the woods, wanting to make sure I kept the cabin in sight. I didn’t want to go out far. After all, I knew what we were here for. Occasionally I still had startling moments in otherwise pleasant dreams when armed men broke into the cabin to hurt us. Even the memory of it was intense enough that I lifted my hand to my stomach, feeling instinctively protective.

My stomach flipped. This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it was scary to know that my entire life would now be pivoting to something new — that part of my old identity would fade away to be replaced by a whole new name;Mom.

Wait. What was that?

I froze, hearing a rustling in the trees. It sounded too heavy and deliberate andfocusedto belong to the breeze, but now that I had stopped in my tracks, the only sound I could hear was the birdsong around me. Then, a beat later, a fluttering as those birds took off into the afternoon air.

Silence again. I could practically hear my heart beating. Just as I had convinced myself that I was hearing things, I heard a branch snap a couple of meters away. As my head whipped around to identify the source, I felt movement behind me — but when I tried to scream, it was too late. A gloved hand had already clamped down hard over my mouth, dragging me backward into the bushes and much, much further away from the cabin and the North men than I had ever hoped to be.

Blake

Alarm bells started ringing the moment she didn’t answer a knock on her door. No matter how down or unwell she had been over the past few weeks, Jessica had never been unresponsive — never hidden away from us. We hoped that she had just fallen asleep, but she had been a pretty light sleeper before.