Page 28 of March

“No,” Bryce said as she thought back.

“And you didn’t, either,” Sean added. “So, I thought we were good. I thought we’d settled into what worked for both of us.”

“Sean, we both want to be the big spoon and on top.”

“I’m okay giving up my big spoon status every now and then,” Sean told her. “And I rolled over for you a few times.”

Bryce chuckled and said, “A few times.” She shook her head. “In the beginning, then, were you just giving me what I wanted?”

“Yes,” Sean replied honestly. “I didn’t mind, though.” She shrugged. “You’re gorgeous, and I was your first. I thought if you wanted to be on top, I could handle that because you give amazing orgasms, Bry.”

Bryce rolled her eyes and replied, “Sex isn’t just about that.”

“And we didn’t only havejustsex. But if you’re asking me if I liked it when we mellowed out a little, yes is my answer. You never said anything to the contrary, though, so I thought we were on the same page. Then, one day, you’re ending things and acting like it’s amicable because we should have both realizedthat we weren’t meant to be, and I was planning a future for us. I accepted it because it’s embarrassing, thinking about me making plans to buy you a ring and you making plans to meet someone else.”

“It’s been years. You’ve never said anything.”

“I never really needed to,” Sean said. “You’ve gone out with a few women, and I know I’m no longer the only one you’ve been with, but you’ve never met anyone you wanted to bring home to your parents. Hell, you weren’t even out to them when we were together. Now, it’s like you spent one night with someone, and she inspired you to tell your mom and dad that you’re gay, and you’re writing these blogs about her that could easily be in a romance novel, and I’m reading them thinking about how I was going ring-shopping.”

“Sean, I’m sorry,” she said.

“I don’t need you to be sorry. I need you to get over this.”

“It’s not that simple. If I could, don’t you think I would have already?”

“You just asked the entire internet to help you find her. Do you reallywantto get over it?”

“No,” Bryce answered honestly. “I want to find her.”

“Because you think she’s the one?”

“I don’t know. I only know that I need to find her to put closure to this. If she’s not – at least, I’d know for sure, and I could actually move on the right way.”

“And what about me? I’m just supposed to wait?”

“What? No, Sean. There’s no waiting here. What do you think you’re waiting for?”

“For you to realize that we…” Sean faded out and stood back up. “There’s really no chance, is there?”

“For us? No, there’s not. I love you, but not in that way.”

“Right,” Sean said with a nod. “See? Embarrassing.”

Then, there was a knock at the door, and Bryce remembered for the first time that Megan and Kelsey were going out to dinner with them.

“Do you want me to tell them that we need to cancel?” Bryce asked.

“No, it’s fine.” Sean walked over to the door and unceremoniously pulled it open. “Hey,” she said with no emotion.

“Hey. You okay?” Kelsey asked.

“Yeah. I’m great,” she replied sarcastically.

“PMS?” Megan asked.

“No,” Sean replied. “Can we just go to dinner?”

“Sure.” Kelsey looked over at Bryce, who just shook her head, telling her to drop it.

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