“Nope. Don’t say it, Megan. Don’t ask the question,” Sean interrupted.
“We’d have to listen to her again, and I cannot take it anymore,” Kelsey added.
“Not since Sophie,” Megan continued, not listening to anyone else. “Bryce, you can’t keep going on like this.”
“Like what? I’m not doing anything. I’m just enjoying a beer at this backyard barbeque my friends invited me to.”
“And not talking to the woman who is gay, available, and was definitely checking you out while you two were talking. I clocked her staring at your boobs at least twice, and when you bent over to get her a beer, she checked out your ass. Her head tilted to the side like a cartoon character; it was so obvious.”
“I didn’t come here for a date,” she replied.
“You don’t goanywherefor a date anymore,” Kelsey pointed out.
“Come on, Kels. Let’s leave her alone,” Sean suggested.
“Thank you,” she said to that.
“Are you sure you’re okay, Bryce?” Megan checked. “I know the whole Sophie thing kind of rocked you, but it’s been a year.”
“Almost exactly,” Bryce replied. “Two days from now, actually.”
“This is not the kind of anniversary you celebrate,” Sean noted.
“Trust me, I don’t plan on celebrating,” she replied. “I know you think I’m crazy. I get it. I know I haven’t stopped talking about that night or Sophie since it happened, but I can still feel her sometimes.”
“Feelher? She’s miles away, Bry.”
“No, she’s not. Not to me, at least. She’s here.” Bryce placed her hand over her heart. “And I can’t get her out of here. I’ve tried.” She shook her head. “I’ve been on a few dates since we got back, and I can’t focus on the woman on the other side of the table. I keep picturing Sophie when I first saw her. I see her looking back at me after we kissed, like it hit her, too. It’s all I can think about, and it’s been a year. That has to mean something, right?”
“Whatcanit mean?” Sean asked. “You don’t even know her last name. It’s not like Sophie isn’t a common name.”
“I know. There were four hundred of them just in New Orleans with public profiles online. I checked all of them, and I couldn’t find her. Some had private profiles without pictures I could see. There were more than twenty of those. When I added Sophias to the mix, the numbers went up even higher. I tried to find her, but I couldn’t.”
“You’re acting like you stopped looking; like it’s in the past. But I saw you on our way here on your phone,” Kelsey said. “You were looking again.”
“I try at least once a week,” she confessed.
“Bry, come on. It’s been a year. Let it go already,” Sean told her, sounding impatient. “Just move on.”
“You can get under or on top of someone else,” Kelsey suggested.
“Kels!” Megan glared a little. “Leave her alone. It’s not about sex.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“And it’s not like any of us are going out with a different person every night,” Megan said. “I haven’t been on a single date in over six months, and the last one was a total disaster. Sean, I think the last woman you went out with was right after we got back from New Orleans. And, Kels, I don’t even know the last time you had a date with some guy.”
“It’s been a while,” Kelsey replied.
“So, let’s just leave Bryce alone. If she wants to take her time to find someone else, fine. If she wants to keep searching for a woman whom she can’t forget, fine. None of us has any right to judge who she likes, loves, misses, crushes on, or lets go of, okay?”
Kelsey smiled softly at Megan, who was the sweetest, kindest woman Bryce had ever met. She wished so much thatKelsey could see what a beautiful person Megan was and that she loved her back in the way Megan needed her to because Megan deserved that, and Kelsey possibly wouldn’t ever be loved the way Megan loved her.
“Deal,” Kelsey said.
“Sure,” Sean half-heartedly agreed.
The barbecue had been fun. Still, as much as she enjoyed good food, drinks, and company, Bryce was ready to go home and wallow some more. She knew her friends had been meaning well, attempting to introduce her to women periodically throughout the year, but she was getting really tired of yet another attempt to set her up, so she said goodbye to them and drove the long way home.