Page 63 of If Tomorrow Never Comes

Carly laughed. “Consider it done.” She arched a brow. “Back rubs, huh? What does Stephen think about those?”

Elliott’s surprise must have shown on her face, because Carly added, “I heard you two have been talking.”

She had? Who else had he told? “Yeah, we went out before he left on that photography trip.” He’d left shortly after she’d put off a second date with the excuse she needed to work, and had only returned yesterday with a promise he’d stop into Starbucks to show her his best shots. “It was fun, but not quite to the back-rub stage,” Elliott said noncommittally.

She didn’t have the balls to turn the question back on Carly, but she couldn’t help but wonder: Was she excited to meet new men back in Oklahoma City? Maybe someone from her previous life she was interested in reconnecting with?

And if she was, would it change anything? Elliott had told Jamie she wouldn’t date him, but that was before she saw how content Carly was. Elliott had been worse off after only one night with him, for goodness’ sake.

Which was either hopelessly romantic or incredibly pathetic.

But even if Carly wasn’t pining after Jamie, that didn’t mean she’d be okay with Elliott making a move on her ex. Ex-boyfriends were iffy—usually considered off-limits to friends and family. Their history made things extra complicated, and Elliott still didn’t want to risk hurting Carly’s feelings.

Carly left soon after, promising to let Elliott know if she had any sort of going away party. Unable to focus on work, Elliott only stayed another ten minutes and called Yuka once she reached her car.

“Carly’s leaving town?” Yuka shrieked. Sometimes, Yuka was the calm and collected one in their friendship. This was not one of those times. “I hope you’re on your way to Jamie’s place as we speak to jump that man.”

There was an irresponsible, wanton part of Elliott that wanted to do just that.

And how. But ... “I’m not.”

“Goddammit, Elliott. This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Don’t you think something about it still feels wrong?”

“No. I don’t.”

“Not even a little?”

“I’ll allow you to wait until she’s actually relocated, but after that, you’re out of excuses.”

“What about the woman version of Bro Code? You don’t date your friend’s exes? Or in my situation, you don’t date your stem cell donor’s ex?”

“Something tells me there’s not a formal rule for that one. You’re in uncharted territory here, Ellie.”

She groaned. “That makes it worse.”

Yuka paused for a moment; then her voice took on a more serious tone. “Answer me this: What if Carly finds someone else back home? What if she gets married and has a family? Would that change things?”

Elliott’s heart screamed the affirmative.

Yuka kept going. “Would you finally put yourself and Jamie out of your misery and give it a chance? Or does Carly get to claim him forever, even after she’s moved on? You still gonna give her dominion over Jamie and your love life one, five, ten years down the road?”

Elliott frowned, shrinking in her seat. “Jeez, Yuka.”

A heavy sigh escaped the speaker. “I’m not trying to be hard on you, but I really want you to see this for the opportunity it could be. There’s something to be said for honor and thinking of other people, and I think you’ve gone above and beyond to tread lightly in this twisted situation you were put in. And you’ve repeatedly considered Carly before yourself. But there’s also a point where self-sacrifice goes too far. They broke up. She’s moving away. This could be the second-best thing that ever happened to you. You deserve happiness, too, you know?”

“I’m happy,” Elliott said weakly.

“Sounds fake, but okay.”

“I am!”

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to, here? You can’t lie to me. I know you only offer short-term services for clients and still haven’t signed a long-term lease there. You’re scared to put down roots with anyone or anything. I understand, because your life has been interrupted so many times, but I’m just afraid if you keep that up, you’re never going to connect anywhere. Or with anyone.”

Elliott pressed her lips together and inhaled deeply through her nose, processing Yuka’s words. She just wanted to find her own life and a steady pace here. Find a rhythm that would prove she could be here and make something of herself.

And she could do it alone. She didn’tneedJamie to be happy. Need and want were two different things, and wanting him was a question she hadn’t examined until recently.

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