Page 108 of If Tomorrow Never Comes

Blythe grinned. “Yeah, but when I do, he tips way more than I’d make on the coffee.”

Jamie took the items she offered him, then glanced at the girl who’d taken her seat again near the register. “Could we chat for a sec?”

“Sure.” His sister followed his gaze and waved him behind the counter. “Why don’t you come back here? I was just about to make some cookies.”

He sipped the coffee as he followed her back, figuring he’d get Ian a fresh cup on his way out. He settled onto a stool, and Blythe slipped on an apron before she stopped in front of a sink to wash her hands.

“Sorry I couldn’t talk yesterday,” she said. He’d called her yesterday afternoon for this very reason, but she’d been at her in-laws.

“No worries. We can work out a schedule later so you’re always available when I need advice.”

“Seriously, what would you do without me?”

“I seem to remember being the advice giver for most of our teenage years. It’s my turn.”

She arched a brow, giving him that. “You did keep me away from some assholes. But don’t you have Elliott now? I bet she’s a great listener.”

He shifted, crossing his arms. Blythe was right, Elliott would be great to talk with about most things. In fact, she was arguably the most important person for him to open up to about this very issue, but ... he hadn’t. Like an asshole, he’d pulled away, too confused and mixed up to think straight. “It’s ... sort of about her.”

Blythe’s demeanor shifted in an instant, and she glared at him. “Did you screw things up already?”

“What? Why would you say that?”

She just shook her head, ponytail swinging. “You’re finally with the right person, and you barely make it two mon—”

“Will you let me explain?”

“Fine. What did you do?”

He rolled his lips between his teeth. “I ... told Carly. Everything.” At her confused expression, he started from the beginning, explaining what happened at the bookstore and why he’d called Carly in the first place. He told Blythe about their conversation and how he’d accidentally revealed he loved Elliott, which inadvertently led to the whole truth about when he’d first met her. “It was bad.”

“That’s ... damn. I’m sorry, Jamie. Telling her yourself was the right thing to do, and I think down the road you’ll be glad you got everything out in the open. But I know that wasn’t easy.”

He rubbed at his eyes and took another long drink of coffee.

“So Carly’s upset, which I get. But what happened with Elliott?”

He regarded his sister, the only other person in the world who would know the weight of what he was about to say. It was the main reason he’d wanted to talk to her and only her. No one else would understand, not really. “Carly said I was just like Dad.”

Blythe stilled, a bag of flour in her arms.

“She said I’d just used her to pass the time until something better came along. And when someone did, when Elliott did, I cast Carly aside for the newest thing. Just like Dad does.” His voice trembled on that last part.Does, present tense. Cycling through women was their dad’s pattern—past, present, and future. He’d never change because it was who he was.

Jamie had spent the last two days asking himself if that’s who he was, too.

His sister set the bag down gently and came toward him. She put her hands on his shoulders and dipped her head, looking him straight in the eye, her expression as serious as he’d ever seen it. “That’s not true. Tell me you believe that.”

“How do I know that? What Carly said was one hundred percent true—I did move on when a new woman came into the picture.” The thought he could possibly feel more for someone than he did for Elliott seemed impossible. Beyond his heart’s capacity to love. But he hadn’t even known this feeling existed before her, so what did he know?

If Elliott felt for him even a fraction of what he did for her, he couldn’t bear the thought of hurting her like his dad hurt his mom. He’d watched his mom suffer at the hands of the emotional turmoil his dad caused, and even after all this time, he didn’t think she’d ever fully recovered. The chance he might be capable—predisposed, even—of treating Elliott that way had sent him in a downward spiral of fear that he didn’t deserve her and she was better off without him.

“You’re not in the right headspace if you’re really comparing your situation with Dad’s. He hops from woman to woman, avoiding intimacyand commitment. You haven’t had many relationships, and of the ones you did, most of them lasted at least a year. That already sets you apart. So you found your one person and experienced that life-altering feeling while you happened to be with someone else. You ended the first one as gracefully and honestly as possible. You weren’t looking for the next high; you were staying true to your heart.”

She made a good point: by this point in his dad’s life, he’d probably burned through two dozen women. Still, though. “I guess hearing her say it out loud freaked me out. She said it was only a matter of time before I move on and do the same thing to Elliott that I did to her. And I just started thinking ... what if she’s right?”

Blythe looked tempted to slap him. “Can you imagine someone else fitting you better than Elliott?”

“God, no.” If he’d allowed it, Elliott’s gray eyes and beautiful smile would have been forefront on his mind every day for the last year and a half. “But I’ve been wrong before. What if I fuck up and hurt her, too?” Elliott had been through enough in her life already. He’d never forgive himself if he broke her heart on top of it.

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