Page 114 of If Tomorrow Never Comes

“How can I not? She hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you. She’s hurt and probably pissed, but mostly at me. I’m the one who did wrong by her. You were an innocent bystander I happened to fall in love with.”

She didn’t agree, and more tears slid down her cheeks. She didn’t deserve to be absolved for what had happened.

“We don’t know what the plan is yet, either. That might not even be on the table. Let’s take this one step at a time, okay? Get the biopsy results and face it, then.”

Wiping more tears, Elliott nodded, then pulled away and stood.

“What are you doing?”

She used the lever on the side of the exam table to adjust the height and climbed onto it, laying stomach down. “Getting ready for the biopsy.”

Jamie moved from the wooden chair against the wall to the rolling stool, scooting near her head. He took her left hand in both of his, stroking each of her fingers with his thumbs, his eyes filled with concern. “Does it hurt?”

“Nah. They numb it first.” She turned her head to look at him, the paper crinkling, and rested her cheek on the table. “But if you’re not good with blood and stuff, maybe don’t watch when they do it.”

His eyes went wide.

“It’s just a big needle, is all.”

His chest rose with a deep inhale, and she almost laughed at the look on his face.

“You don’t have to stay.” She’d done these plenty of times by herself.

“The hell I won’t.”

She shrugged. “Okay. But if you pass out I’m not carrying you out of here.”

That got a tiny smile out of him.

Dr. Varghese returned with a young woman in scrubs carrying a package of equipment. She laid everything out on the counter, and Dr. Varghese started the procedure.

Jamie kept his eyes on her face or his ministrations with her hand, staying stock-still, as if he were afraid to jostle her.

When he was finished, the doctor said he’d call her as soon as he had results and discuss next steps. Elliott and Jamie walked to the car together, and he looked over at her before he turned the truck on.

“What now?”

She leaned her head back. “Will you take me to your trees?”

Chapter Thirty-Four

Jamie

When they got home that evening, Jamie ordered food to be delivered. Elliott hardly ate, and he saved the leftovers for tomorrow, then rejoined her on the couch.

“How are you feeling about everything?”

“Fine.” She huffed out a wry amused breath. “You know what’s funny? This whole year, I’ve been terrified of every little ache, pain, or quirk I felt, worried it was leukemia. But these last few weeks, I’ve felt perfect. All that worry, and it showed up when I never expected it.”

He brushed his knuckles across her cheek and kissed her forehead. “Life is so fucked up sometimes.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“What do you need? What can I do?”

“Nothing. This is the worst part. Waiting for answers.” She tilted her head as she looked at him. “Are you okay?”

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