Page 11 of Butcher's Honor

"Can you hand me the flour?" she asks.

I reach for the bag, our fingers brushing as I pass it. She jumps slightly at the contact, and flour puffs into the air between us.

"Sorry," we both say at once.

Tommy giggles. "Mommy's turning red again."

"Tommy!" Ruby scolds, but she's fighting a smile.

"Just stating facts," the kid says perfectly innocently, reminding me so much of Crow it's scary.

"You're supposed to be sorting chips, monster," she tells him, but her voice is full of love.

I watch them together, noting how they move around each other with practiced ease and how Tommy anticipates when she needs something before she asks. They're a team, these two…

So why does something in my chest ache watching them?

"You're staring," Ruby says quietly while Tommy counts chips.

"Just thinking."

"About what?"

About how beautiful you are when you're not scared. About how much I want to kill Derek for putting that fear in your eyes. About how fucked I am for even having these thoughts.

"About whether these cookies are worth all the shit my brothers are gonna give me," I say instead.

She laughs, and the sound has me clenching my fists, "I'll make sure they're extra special then."

"Can Mr. Joey put the chips on this batch?" Tommy asks. "I'll teach him the right way."

Before I can protest, I'm being handed a handful of chocolate chips and given very serious instructions about proper placement.

"They have to be pointy side up," Tommy explains. "And you need three on each cookie."

"Pointy side up," I repeat, feeling ridiculous but unable to disappoint that earnest face. "Got it."

Ruby watches us, something soft in her expression that makes me want to look away. I'm not soft. I'm not gentle. Just last night I...

"You're doing it wrong," Tommy interrupts my dark thoughts. "Here, like this."

His small hands guide mine, showing me how to place the chips just so. His complete lack of fear, his easy trust, makes my throat tight.

"Better?" I ask when I place the next one.

"Perfect!" He beams up at me. "You're a fast learner."

"High praise," Ruby comments, sliding another tray toward us. "He made me practice for an hour yesterday."

"Kid's got high standards." I find myself smiling despite everything. "Good trait in a quality control manager."

"Is that a job?" Tommy asks excitedly.

"Sure is. Making sure everything's done right, just like you're doing now."

Ruby mouths 'thank you' over Tommy's head as he launches into a detailed explanation of why cookies need quality control. I shrug, uncomfortable with her gratitude.

"Almost done," she announces a few minutes later. "Just need to set the timer."

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