Page 21 of Derek

Kate was still at the door. “Leaving so soon? Is everything all right?”

Derek answered before Sonja could say anything. “Everything is fine. We’re just not in the mood to play tonight. Rough day at work.”

“I know what that’s like. I hope the rest of your night improves,” Kate said. “See you soon.”

Derek escorted Sonja to his car and saw her safely belted in before going to his side. They drove in silence to Sonja’s apartment, and Sonja was lost in thought. Would this be the end of their relationship? Derek certainly didn’t seem like himself tonight. How angry was he? She really didn’t think she’d done anything wrong. It washerbody. Why should he expect her to tell him about something that was likely nothing anyway? She was an independent woman and had proven time after time that she could take care of herself. Just because he wanted to be herDaddy didn’t mean she needed him. She finished marshaling her arguments as they pulled up to her building.

As they entered Sonja’s apartment, Snuggles came up and started meowing either his happiness at seeing her or his irritation at having been left alone. Sonja could never make up her mind which it was. She gathered him into her arms for a quick cuddle.

“I need to see if he ate his dinner and then check around to see if he spit it up. Would you hold him while I do that?”

“Of course. Do what you need to do.” Derek took Snuggles into his arms and began the croon that seemed to calm the cat best.

As she checked Snuggles’ food bowl and scanned the floor for any messes, her mind kept circling back to Derek. He hadn’t pushed her yet, but she knew it was coming. He wouldn’t let this go, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to have that conversation.

Not yet.

Finding nothing in the usual spots, she headed to the bedroom—and groaned. Smack in the middle of the bed, right on top of her comforter.

“Seriously, Snuggles?” she muttered, grabbing tissues to scoop up what she could before stripping the sheets. The familiar routine gave her something to focus on, something other than the weight pressing in on her chest. She bundled up the bedding, shoved it in the washer, and started the cycle, letting the hum of the machine fill the silence.

She took a steadying breath before heading back to the living room, where Derek still had Snuggles curled contentedly in his arms, purring like the picture of innocence.

Sonja folded her arms and sighed. “Snuggles, smack in the middle of the bed? Really?”

Derek stroked the cat’s fur. “Looks like you’re in for it now, boy. Vomiting on the bed is not a very nice thing to do to your mommy.”

“He’s not in trouble, Derek. It’s just a pain in the ass to clean up. It looks like his entire dinner of canned food with added liquid. It soaked through my quilt and blanket, onto the sheet.” She reached over to his lap and started scratching Snuggles’ cheeks and under his chin. “Would you like to try some more dinner? We have other flavors since that one didn’t agree with you. That was salmon. Should we try some of your baby food? That seems to stay down better. Derek, could you put him down and see if he follows me to the kitchen?”

Snuggles ate half a jar of beef baby food, went to his bed by the window, and started grooming himself. “Such a good boy. It wasn’t your appetite, just the food that didn’t agree with you.” With Snuggles settled, she couldn’t postpone Derek any longer. “Would you like something to drink, Sir?”

“Thanks for asking, baby, but I’ll pass for the moment. Come sit with me.” When she tried to settle on the other end of the couch, Derek gave her a look, and she quickly scooted closer to him.

Apparently, close wasn’t good enough, though, because he lifted her into his lap. “I think it will be easier for you to talk this way. How about you start at the beginning? Why didn’t you tell me you were having a mammogram? I know I asked Wednesday what you had going on for the rest of the week.”

Sonja sighed.Where to begin and how much to say?

It was all so complicated. She decided to try the minimalist approach and see how that went over. “It didn’t occur to me to mention it. A mammogram is not that big a deal. I have one every year.” She crossed her fingers in her head, hoping that would be enough.

“Try again. You tensed up way too much while you were saying that.”

Damn, he was good at reading body language. It was good he couldn’t see her face. “I didn’t want you to worry. I worry enough for two people already. I have a family history of breast cancer. I don’t just have a mammogram. I have a regular mammogram, a 3-D digital mammogram, an MRI, and an ultrasound. My appointment started at 12:30 pm and it was almost five when I finished. I didn’t want to have to deal with anyone’s stress but my own. Besides, I’ve been doing this on my own since I had my first mammogram, when I was twenty-five. Yes, that’s young, but family history made it necessary. That’s the why. The other reason I didn’t tell you is that I’m used to standing on my own two feet. It really didn’t occur to me to tell you I had the tests coming up.”

“And the biopsy? Surely it occurred to you that I would want to know about that?” From the tone of Derek’s voice, Sonja realized she was digging herself a deeper hole with every word.

“Sort of, but I decided that since it was probably nothing, I’d wait and tell you if it was something.”

“Would you have told me after the biopsy?”

“If it were nothing? No. If it were a problem, then, yes, I would tell you. It would be kind of hard to hide, then.”

“I realize this is your first serious D/s relationship, but you know how important communication is. Would you be okay with my having, I don’t know, say, a stress test and not telling you about it?”

“No, but?—”

“No buts about it. I want to know if you’re having a problem, medical or otherwise, and I will tell you about problems I’m having as well. Can you let me in?”

“I’ll do my best, Sir.”

---