“It was in the PT room, after he hurt his shoulder at practice today,” I tell them.
“And you’re only now telling me?” Grace asks. “Stacey, this is a big deal.”
“Is it?” I’m feeling suddenly uncertain if telling them was such a good idea. “I mean… does it have to be? It was just a kiss.”
“With your first love,” Grace points out. “Who’s also your baby daddy. Who also abandoned you to go to another country.”
“Okay… point taken.”
“How was it?” Skyler asks, her eyes wide, her expression eager.
I pause, not wanting to admit just how incredible it was. I could easily use the excuse that it’s just been awhile since I’ve been kissed, so that’s why it was so good. Since having Millie, I haven’t had much of a dating life to speak of. I tried a few blind dates, but never clicked with anyone, so I decided to focus on being a mom instead of finding a man.
A viable excuse, really, but I know that’s not why Owen’s kiss felt so good.
I hesitate before admitting, “It was… it was fucking fantastic, okay? The best kiss I’ve had in years, but that’s not the point! I need to figure out what I’m going to do. I can’t just forgive him for what he did to me, can I? And what if he and his family decide they do want to take Millie? What am I supposed to do then?”
Skyler shakes her head in disagreement. “I don’t think Owen would take Millie from you, but why did you think it was over when he left for Canada? You guys dated for over two years in highschool and were inseparable. No one even considered thingswouldn’t work out. People have long-distance relationships all the time.”
A reasonable question, but probably the hardest one for me to answer.
“He… he sent me a letter, made it pretty clear what he wanted.”
Skyler doesn’t look convinced. “What did the letter say? I mean, Carson told me that Owen didn’t plan on leaving. The move was a total shock to him, just like it was to everyone else. I don’t think he actually wanted to go, so I can’t imagine he actually wanted to end things with you.”
I set my wine down and push to my feet. Crossing the living room to a display cabinet on the other side of the room, I open one of the bottom drawers and pull out a wrinkled envelope that I have hidden at the bottom, under placemats and tablecloths. Returning to my chair, I hand the envelope to Skyler.
“See for yourself,” I whisper.
Skyler stares at the envelope in shock before reaching out and taking it. I lean back in my chair and watch as she opens it and unfolds the piece of paper inside. She begins to read, and in my head, I go through the letter, line-by-line, because I’ve read it so many times over the years that I have it memorized.
Stacey,
I’ve moved with my family to Canada. My mom and Gerald are getting married. He wants to be closer to his family and their businesses. He’s promised to enroll me into a school with one of the top hockey programs in the whole country and to support my dream to play professionally. It’s an opportunity I couldn’t have gotten in Wisconsin, and I can’t waste this chance.
I’m writing to let you know that it’s over between us. I need to focus on my future and while what we had was a fun distraction, it was never anything serious. If I’m going to be a success, I can’t be held back by a fling I got into because I was bored living in a small town. Don’t try to contact me. I won’t respond. It’s better for us to both move on.
Owen
When Skyler finishes the letter, she looks up at me, pale with shock. Grace, who was reading the letter over Skyler’s shoulder, frowns.
“Wow,” Grace mutters. “I didn’t realize how bad this letter really was. You never showed it to me before.”
I shrug. “It’s humiliating.”
“I’m so sorry, Stace,” Skyler says, shaking her head. “This is just… cruel.”
When I first received that letter, it had felt as though my heart had been ripped out of my chest and stomped on. I haven’t experienced anything so painful since, with the exception of literal childbirth.
“This is terrible,” Grace agrees. “But… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but he wrote this years ago. Maybe there’s some other reason behind the letter. Like maybe he felt pressure from his family, or he thought breaking it off like this would be easier for you. We were so young and stupid back then. I’m not making excuses for him—he’s still an asshole for writing this. But there might be something here you don’t know about.”
I arch an incredulous brow at her. “Do you honestly think that?”
“I don’t know.” She sighs. “Look, I know how detrimental it can be to make assumptions about people and jump to conclusions without really understanding someone’s state ofmind. Trust me, I’ve made the mistake myself countless times and it almost cost me Jensen. Something about this letter doesn’t line up. It doesn’t sound like Owen, and he was never this mean. I think you should at least talk to him and make him explain himself.”
“Why should I give him that chance?” I ask stubbornly.
“Because Millie deserves to know her father,” Grace says in a patient tone. “And you deserve clarity and some actual closure, not… this.”