Page 18 of Jace

“Oh my hero,” Presley sighs playfully before linking her arm through his.

“Thank you.” Aurora walks in his direction and wraps her arms around him, as the two of them share a hug. I push past the tinge of jealousy that hits me when he whispers something near her ear. Whatever he says makes her smile.

“I will,” she tells him before turning back to face me. Her eyes gleaming with tears almost breaks me right there in the middle of a loud club. I reach out, once again linking our fingers. Pulling her along I offer Zac a nod before we disappear into the darkness.

Chapter Thirteen

Aurora

From the moment his lips touched mine, warmth filled my body from head to toe. Kissing was never the problem with Jace and I, it had always been so good. Or maybe it was awful, because when he kissed me, I seemed to forget that he can’t truly offer me everything I want and need in a man.

For months I fought with the idea of settling for whatever it was he could give just to have him in my life. I was willing to let go of everything I’ve ever wanted because losing him completely seemed like the worst option of the two.

I just accepted that my needs and wants are outweighed by my desire.

Sitting in the passenger seat of his car, watching as the other cars and buildings outside pass me by I wonder if agreeing to go with him would be my biggest mistake yet.

Jace and I have never taken things too far, and that was the one thing I had going for me. Though in my mind I knew without a doubt being with him would be earth shattering I never truly knew exactly what I was missing. I never had that passion. Letting him in fully, opening myself up, I sense disaster.

“Hey.” His hand rests on my thigh, offering a squeeze. I lift my gaze to meet his. “I meant what I said Ror, I just want you sleeping next to me tonight. This isn’t about anything else.” He nods, and the light changes green, and he presses the gas, bringing us even closer to his place.

When he pulls into the parking space and turns off the car, he turns his body toward mine. “I know me asking you to trust me seems unfair, but through it all baby I’ve never lied to you. I’ve always been honest.” I nod, it’s true, he has never once promised me anything. “This is me telling you that I too am done with the games. I’m tired of running when what I really want to do is dig in my heels and stay forever.”

I close my eyes, feeling my emotions take over. These are all the things I’ve waited and wanted to hear for months. Things I’ve only dreamed of and now here we are and he’s saying everything I’ve wished for, but my mind and my heart are fighting to accept them.

Maybe things are too damaged at this point. Maybe the walls I’ve built are too strong to be destroyed. Maybe what I said earlier about our time has already passed wasn’t only out of frustration. Maybe there is no going back.

I feel a hand over my mouth, fingers digging into my cheeks as I twist and turn trying to break free. The feeling of being suffocated, unable to take in a deep breath, its consuming me. My arms pinned at my sides, the hold tightening around me. Hot breath on my cheek and neck, my heart races as panic sets it.

I jerk and twist, refusing to remain still and suddenly the weight is gone and I’m free. Sitting up in bed, in the middle of a darkened room, I find myself wondering who turned off the lights.

“Babe,” I spin to the side, blinking. Trying to clear away the fog and the lingering thoughts of my recurring dream. One I’ve had so many times, replaying the events of the night Dylan broke into Luna’s apartment and terrified us all. It’s a dream I’ve had so many times it no longer surprises me.

Jace comes into view and my heart races. “It’s okay,” he assures me and suddenly I realize he’s witnessed one of my nightmares.

The dreams have been fewer lately, but tonight it all felt so incredibly real. Almost like I was back in that night reliving the very moments all over again.

“Hey,” he pushes the hair back from my face and scoots in closer. The warmth of his body pressing to mine offers me some comfort. “Tell me what’s going on,” he insists and I shake my head. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to burden anyone else with my troubles they are mine. It’s something I have to get through, something I have to cope with.

Laying down I curl onto my side and Jace scoots closer, his front pressing into my back.

“I know about the nightmares,” he confesses and I fist the pillow. “I know about the fears and the need to have all the lights on. What I don’t know is why you never came to me.”

“Why would I?” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.

Suddenly I am being pulled over onto my back as Jace hovers at my side, forcing me to look at him. “I want to be mad that you even said that, but I know I can’t be. I’ve really fucked this entire thing up with us from the start. But I’m here Ror and I know it’s not going to happen overnight, but I want to make this right. I have no idea how to do this with you but I know I want to try. More than anything I want to be the guy you need and want. I want to be your first phone call. I don’t want you afraid to be vulnerable with me, or angry, or sweet. I want this, but I need some help babe because I’ve never been that kind of guy for anyone. But for you I want to be the best me I can.”

I swallow past the huge lump that feels like its formed in my throat.

“Help me be that guy Ror.”

I’ve never seen Jace like this. So serious and vulnerable, the devotion in his eyes as he watches me and waits for me to respond. He’s a clown, he’s always been one. From the first day I met him, always looking for the moment when he can make everyone laugh. That or drop one of his many vulgar lines and start flirting. But here we are, in the darkness of his room with only the bathroom light shining in highlighting his serious expression. His eyes locked on mine, a frown on his face, his forehead creased as he waits.

Reaching up I cup his face, pulling him closer and offer a soft kiss. His body melts into mine and he gives in, as his entire body seems to relax a bit.

“I’ll try,” I whisper and he takes a deep breath, slowly releasing it as he rests his forehead to mine.

“Thank you,” the relief etched in his voice cannot be mistaken.

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