Page 59 of Something Like Fate

Strangely, this response doesn’t make me feel any less terrified. But I come out with it anyway. I tell him everything. About my family history, about my vision, all the way until almost getting crushed by the trolley.

He sits glass-eyed, in silence for a few beats before letting out a low whistle. “Wow. That’s—”

I cover my face with my hands, suddenly regretting telling him so soon. “I know. It sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud—”

“No,” he says, eyes darting to everything but me. The loose thread in the blanket. A rock in the bottom of his sandal.

“But?”

He’s silent, still as a marble statue for far too long. I’m about to bolt before he finally meets my eyes. “I like you, Lo. A lot. And I believe you.I absolutely can see us together. But I guess I—” He bites his lip. “I just I don’t know if I’m ... ready for something like that. I feel like I’m still in the exploratory phase of my life, you know? I don’t know that I want anything serious romantically. At least right now. Actually, I’m not sure I really believe in monogamy ... if that makes sense.”

My cheeks are burning, flush with a mixture of shame and embarrassment. I can barely hear the rest of his ramble. Something about how he does have feelings for me and he wishes he were ready for that type of commitment. About rigid societal expectations of relationships and how he values autonomy and freedom, and how monogamy isn’t natural for humans.

I feel like I’ve just been judo-kicked in the gut. I’m desperate to crawl inside myself, to hide away for all eternity, but my limbs feel too heavy to move, to do anything but float face down in this sad, pathetic pool of rejection.

He tries to change the subject and act like everything is normal as we pack up. I can tell he’s flustered. He can’t stop rambling about how the garden dates back to the thirteenth century, was owned by the Mozzi family, and on and on. The longer he talks about prominent Italian families, the more panicked I get that I’ve blown it entirely.

Mei was right. It was too early to tell him.

When we get back to the hostel, we pause outside my door. “I don’t suppose it’s possible to forget about everything I said today?” I ask.

He flashes one of his dazzling Caleb smiles, which makes me feel marginally better. “About your eleven toes? Impossible.”

“Seriously,” I say.

“It’s fine, Lo. We can talk more tonight on the cruise, okay?”

I nod, and he gives me a stiff hug before heading to his room.

Despite his assurance, I text Mei and Ellen an SOS, followed by a multiparagraph rundown of what happened.

Ellen: I’m sorry, hon!! I bet he’ll come around soon enough.

Mei: Remember, just because someone is your soulmate, doesn’t mean they’re automatically yours. It doesn’t always come easy and it isn’t always instantaneous. You might need to give him some space.

Ellen: Yeah lots of space!

I always assumed I’d meet my soulmate andbam, we’d be inseparable from then on. But maybe this is a long game. Maybe it’ll take months, even years, for Caleb to be ready.

Frustrating as it is, I’m only nineteen. I have time ... even if that time has to be spent in a holding pattern. Why am I rushing things?

With this new perspective, I pad over to Caleb’s room. I need to smooth things over, make it clear I’m not looking to marry him ASAP, or even be exclusive in any way. That I’m happy to give him time and space. As much as he needs.

Just as I’m about to knock, the door swings open.

It’s not Caleb. It’s a maid.

“Um, is Caleb here?” I ask, looking over her shoulder at the empty bed.

She shakes her head. “No one in this room,” she says in a heavy Italian accent.

She closes the door and I just stand in the hallway, trying to put two and two together. I know for a fact this is Caleb’s room. I’ve spent hours in here and watched him go in literally an hour ago. So if he’s not here, where is he?

I head to the lobby and check with the front desk. The clerk cheerily informs me that Caleb checked out half an hour ago.

My chest hitches. There’s a squeezing sensation in my ribs as it all sinks in. Caleb is gone. He left.

Without even telling me.

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