Page 105 of Something Like Fate

“I don’t know, why?”

“Because she wasn’t a happy medium!” he says, snickering to himself.

I snort, despite myself. “How long have you had that one locked and loaded?”

“Oh, for weeks. Was waiting ’til you were home to use it,” he informs me, eyes on the slush-filled road as we pull out of the airport parkade. “When you asked me to pick you up, I thought for sure you’d have Caleb with you.”

“Nope,” I say dully, fastening my seat belt.

“Is he coming to visit soon?” he prods.

“I’m not sure,” I say.

Caleb will be backpacking around Indonesia for the foreseeable future. At least, that was the plan as of twelve hours ago when we said goodbye. The way we parted wasn’t angry, or sad, or anything in between. It was more of a quiet understanding that we were taking a break. For now.

Walking away, even temporarily, from my soulmate is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Even as we said goodbye, I thought about what would happen if I just stuck it out longer; maybe things would have been like they were in the beginning. Taking space after this long feels suspiciously like giving up. Because despite what Mei says about finding our way back to each other, I can’t help but wonder,What if we don’t? What if I’m abandoning my soulmate? What if I’m setting myself up for a lifetime of loneliness?

Still, when we parted at the train station, we made vague plans for me to join back up with him once I’m healed. Though it felt more like a noncommittal “Let’s get together soon.” The kind of plan you make with an old friend that may never come to fruition.

I also can’t ignore the surge of relief I felt when I left—and when the wheels touched ground at home. And if there’s anything I’ve learned from Mei and Ellen over the years, it’s to trust my gut.

Admittedly, I do miss Caleb already. After spending that many months with someone, it feels weird to suddenly be apart. It’s kind of like when you get gel nails removed and your natural nails feel weird and stubby, entirely changed.

Dad swings me a look. “I’m guessing things didn’t go as planned?”

I sigh. “They did and they didn’t.” I tell him all about having the absolute time of my life—until I got injured.

Being out of commission is temporary, but who knows what life has in store. There could be many times when I’m ill or unable to live life to the fullest. And whether Caleb would admit it or not, I think he’s viewed my injury as a burden. I think he was relieved to fly solo again.

Dad nods, barely suppressing his delight. He’s trying to hide it, but I know he’s amped to have me back home after this long. He even offered me a third-wheel ticket with him and Scheana on the cruise, but I declined given my knee.

“You know, Aunt Ellen has a T-shirt that says ‘If you can’t handle me at my worst, you can’t handle me at my best,’” he reminds me.

I sink down in my seat and try to erase that from my memory. “Please never say that again.”

“But it’s true.”

I shrug. “I’m still scared I made the wrong decision to leave.” I’m confused as ever—with myself, more than anything.

Aunt Mei assured me that if we were truly meant to be together, we would find our way back into each other’s lives. But I’m not sure I want it to be true. There’s something missing between us. A gap I’m not sure can be filled with time and perspective. If that’s the case, is Caleb really my soulmate? And does ignoring my vision mean I’m doomed?

“Why would it be the wrong decision if coming home is what feels right?”

“Well, the vision is always right. It has to be,” I say, watching the big fluffy snowflakes hit the windshield in globs.

A year ago, I’d have given anything to have my family’s abilities. I’d have done anything to know I had a soulmate out there. And now, I feel constrained by it, constrained by the obligation of being with someone I don’t think I love, and faced with eternal loneliness and bad luck if I choose not to be. Things were easier when I could be like everyone else and make my own choices. When I didn’t feel forced onto a certain path.

Dad considers this. “Why does it have to be an absolute?”

My eyes well with tears. “Because if it’s wrong, it means I’m cursed. That I’m going to be alone and miserable forever.”

“I have a hard time believing that.”

“And it would mean I’m not like Mom. Or any other woman in the family.” My whole life, I’ve been so used to things being out of my control—Mom’s death, not inheriting the abilities, not knowing what I want to do with my life. Having this vision meant something more than finding The One. For the first time, something was guaranteed, the course of my life set. I wouldn’t have to worry or wonder. Fate was finally going to take over and I could sit back and enjoy the ride. Or so I thought.

Dad’s face falls. “That’s not true.”

“It is, though. For years, I thought I didn’t inherit any of her talent, and it killed me. And then I had the vision and it made me feel like I had a tangible connection to her. And then traveling, following her route, I’ve never felt closer to her.” In a sense, I felt like I was traveling for her, going all the places she wanted to but never got the chance to.

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