Page 54 of Exes and O's

I banish the sexual shower thoughts away, mentally securing them with a couple layers of duct tape, just to be safe.

My phone vibrates with a new text from Cody.

CODY:You should send me a photo.

“What are you and Cody texting about?” Trevor asks, pulling a random book on cupcake decorating off the shelf. He flips through with pretend interest.

“Well...” I turn my screen, revealing his texts.

His eyes flare as he reads. “Wow. He’s really going for it, huh? I mean, I guess he’s already seen”—he waves a lazy hand downward, toward my lower half—“it all before? Right?”

“He has. But he was never blatantly sexual like this. I don’t know what to say back. I don’t do nudes.”

Trevor continues down the aisle in front of me, scrutinizing their book-filing system. The lack of alphabetical order in this thrift shop is troubling him. “Sorry, Chen. I got nothing.”

“Really? I’m shocked you don’t have a stockpile of nudes.”

“I’ll have you know I’ve never asked a woman for a nude in my life. And dirty texts aren’t my style.” He turns to face me again, his eyes smoldering.

“Hm. I thought you’d be the type who’s into sexting and dirty talk and all that.” My neck erupts with prickles at the memory of my illicit car dream.

He averts his stare entirely, deflecting. Yup. He’s totally a dirty talker. “You’re the one who reads hundreds of sex books a year.Why don’t you pull a line from one of those?” He gestures to the two worn bodice rippers in my basket.

“Dirty talk in romance novels doesn’t translate to real life. I can’t tell him I want toride his throbbing memberwith a straight face,” I point out.

An elderly woman pushing a full cart near us clutches her bosom and speeds off in the opposite direction.

I wait for Trevor to chide me for uttering the termthrobbing memberin a public place, but he doesn’t. Instead, he lets out a distressed groan, his eyes closed. “That was a mental image I didn’t need. This is so weird.”

Something inside of me dies a little as he charges ahead of me. Splendid. I repulse him.

I spend some time regrouping before I follow him into the mystery/thriller section. “Sorry for disturbing you. But I have one last question. Is it appropriate to suggest an alternative location? I don’t want to have virtual shower sex.”

I nearly smash into his chest when he turns around. “I still don’t understand your grudge against the shower.”

“I told you, I don’t do water sex. Talk to me about sex between the stacks in a library. Or anywhere with books.” The moment the words come out of my mouth, I regret them.

He recognizes my slipup, because he clears his throat awkwardly and leans back against a book display, toppling multiple books onto their sides. “Books, huh?” He clumsily rights the books, not bothering to alphabetize them.

I’m very much aware of how small these aisles are. The books are closing in on me, pages threatening to swallow me whole. Trevor’s sizzling stare manages to penetrate. I’m paranoid he can readmy mind, which is a flurry of blatantly sexual thoughts. I’m contemplating peeling off my pink cable-knit for some air when Cody texts again.

CODY:Boo, don’t forget to pick up the kids at my mom’s today on your way home.

I reread the text at least three times before I show it to Trevor, who stares at it, confused. “Who the hell isBoo? Is he trying to role-play with me or something?”

He opens and closes his mouth, pressing his lips together, like he’s unsure whether to offer his opinion. “I... have a feeling that text wasn’t meant for you.”

Another text comes in.

CODY:Woops. Meant to send that to someone else.

TARA:Who? Your wife?

Little dots appear instantly, and then disappear. Proverbial crickets.

Daniel (childhood love)

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