Page 29 of Exes and O's

“He invited me on a three-month trip. How is it too soon?” I frown. “I don’t want to just hook up or casually see each other. I’m putting it all out on the table.”

“And then some,” he grumbles, partially distracted by the waitress he’s been seducing all evening. She gives him a flirty smile, thick high ponytail swaying, expertly balancing a tray of pizza. He returns her smile briefly before turning back to me with a scowl. “You’re notseriously going to follow him on that rain forest excursion, are you? I thought you said you hate traveling. And what about work?”

I immediately shut down Trevor’s pessimism. “You know what? You should just go hang with that waitress. You’re distracting me, and I don’t need your unsolicited two cents.”

“My two cents was solicited, actually. Do you not remember begging me to come with you? To make sure you don’t mess this up? To save you from yourself?”

“I appreciate it, but I need to do this my way. I need to know if I’m wasting my time.” Before he can protest, I spin on my heel and march back to the booth.

The glimmer in Brandon’s eyes when he spoke about travel has now dulled. In fact, his expression is generally serious, like it used to be five minutes before exam time. He smiles when I settle across from him, but the joy doesn’t quite reach his eyes. This date has officially taken a turn for the worse.

“I just don’t know if I see myself settling down and having kids, to be honest. I don’t want to waste your time,” he finally confesses.

My stomach bottoms out. While I respect his decision, I’ve always clung to the eventuality of having children. Visions of Brandon and me living a fabulous life in the suburbs all but evaporate. “Really? I mean, I guess I just thought when we broke up the first time that you’d be ready, sometime in the future.”

His face looks pained. A heavy silence fills the space between us as we sip the rest of our respective drinks. In fact, Brandon is chugging his like he’s dying of thirst. Then he twirls his glass, dragging the puddle of condensation around the table in a figure eight. “Sorry, Tara. You’re a great girl. Honestly, the best. I love spending time together. I just... I’m not looking to settle down inone place with a family and white picket fence. And if you’re still remotely the same girl you were in college, it wouldn’t be fair of me to give you false hope and lead you on.”

The chaos of mini putters and bar patrons blurs around me as I struggle to recover from his truth bomb. There’s nothing I can do but let out a strained laugh, which sounds reminiscent of an injured whale stranded on the beach.

Another one bites the dust.

Daniel (childhood love)

Tommy (ninth-grade boyfriend)

Jacques (Student Senate boy)

Cody (high school sweetheart)

Jeff (frosh week fling)

Zion (campus bookstore cutie)

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