Page 12 of Exes and O's

Tommy (ninth-grade boyfriend)

Jacques (Student Senate boy)

Cody (high school sweetheart)

Jeff (frosh week fling)

Zion (campus bookstore cutie)

Brandon (world traveler—the one who got away)

Linus (Brandon rebound)

Mark (book club intellectual)

Seth (ex-fiancé)

Not to brag, but I’m basically Carrie Mathison fromHomeland, uncovering treasure troves of pertinent information on each of my targets, including but not limited to: high school athletic and academic achievements, grandparents’ obituaries, etc. Next to each name is an accompanying photo from social media, as well as contact details, including handles, email addresses, phone numbers, workplaces.

The only ex I wasn’t able to find anything on is ex number one, Daniel Nakamura (humanity’s shining example of all that is good in the world), who is a ghost online.

“Should I be scared?” Trevor asks, perusing my list.

“Not unless you’re my ex.”

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