Page 85 of Something to Someone

“I know,” she said, squeezing my hand. “But love can make you the happiest or the saddest person on earth. And I didn’t want to try for happy when sad was such a real possibility and all I’d known.”

My pulse raced, and I sucked in a sharp breath that pierced through my lungs.

Love.

She’d said it so casually I almost missed it. Like it wasn’t the word I’d been silently using for years to describe how I felt about Caroline. A feeling that had only grown stronger over the past few months.

I cleared my throat and carefully considered my next words. Caroline Grant was sitting in front of me, holding my hand, throwing around the word “love,” and telling me all her deepest secrets. I didn’t want to fuck it up because of my big mouth.

Chewing on my bottom lip, I was struggling to find the right way toask the question clawing at the back of my mind. Impulsivity was more my style.

“How—” I began but stopped just as quickly. She silently urged me to continue just using her eyes, so I did, eloquence be damned. “How did you get here? I mean, a few days ago, you almost walked away, and I swore you were going to end things. I thought you were going to walk away again, only this time, it would be for good.”

One side of her mouth tilted upward, and she glanced back down at our hands. Her jacket sleeve had ridden up her hand, revealing that little purple ring on her right ring finger.

“I thought I might, but I couldn’t. You changed…everything,” she said, her smile widening and a teasing glint appearing behind her red eyes. “I always said that I was open to a relationship, but it had to be with someone who was exceptional. Someone who made me better and would be a partner. My life was already full—I didn’tneedanyone.”

She took a breath and lifted her free hand to cup my cheek. “But that was only partially true. I needed someone I could trust, and I needed to trust myself. And then you came along, and I felt that. I felt things I didn’t think I’d ever feel again. And it was terrifying. I never expected it, especially with you. No offense.”

“None taken,” I said with a grin.

“You made me face these feelings, and I just needed to work through my mental blocks before I could fully embrace it. No one else did that. I don’t think anyone else could.”

I was going to have a heart attack. I was sure of it the way my heart raced, and my pulse skyrocketed. Her eyes dropped to my lips, and her hand tangled in the back of my hair. She pushed up on her knees and scooted closer to me until her legs brushed the side of mine.

“You asked me the other day if I wanted to be something to someone,” she said, and I held my breath. I don’t know where that had come from, but it sounded good in the moment. “The answeris no. I don’t just want to be something to someone. I want to be something toyou.”

My stomach almost dropped out of my ass for a moment, but fuck, that last sentence was really going to send me into cardiac arrest. My smile was unbidden, and I reached for her.

“But,” she said, stopping me before I could touch her. “I understand if it’s too much. If you can’t forgive me for the way I treated you. And since I’m still figuring it all out, I have to ask you to continue to be patient with me. After years of closing myself off, it’s a lot. So, if you want to walk away, you can, and I won’t stop you.”

With a growl, I propelled myself forward and tackled her onto the couch. She let out a surprised laugh and smiled up at me. I hadn’t thought about it before I started moving, so I quickly looked her over to make sure I hadn’t inadvertently injured her. Thankfully, her head landed on one of the pillows she’d picked out for me and the couch was soft otherwise.

I just wanted her to stop talking about one of us leaving.

“I told you then I wouldn’t walk away, and nothing’s changed. You may not need me, baby, but I need you.”

Kneeling between her spread thighs, I planted an elbow beside her head and placed my other hand against her cheek, directing her to look up at me. She stuttered out a broken breath and sighed, placing her hands on either side of my neck.

She smiled, and I couldn’t wait another second to feel her lips against mine.

Like she couldn’t resist either, she pressed up as I leaned down. The kiss was everything I’d ever wanted. Finally, when her lips brushed mine and her tongue swiped at the seam of my mouth, I felt the confidence and surety I’d wanted to feel since our first kiss. No more hesitation or barriers. She was there with me one hundred percent, and I could feel it everywhere.

Caught up in the euphoric feeling, I mumbled against her lips, “Fuck, baby, I love you.”

True or not, I didn’t mean for those words to come tumbling out inthat moment. Beneath me, Caroline froze and let her head fall back onto the pillow.

I fumbled for something else to say, to backtrack before she could run again. Her eyes bounced between mine, and her wet lips opened and closed a few times.

“I did not mean to say that. I mean, I feel it. I meant it, but that was probably the wrong time to say it. Especially after you asked me to be patient. And you don’t have to say it back. I don’t expect anything. I know you’re just now?—”

With one hand over my mouth, she stopped me mid-ramble. Her unsure, surprised expression morphed into a small smile, and my thumping heart settled. My pulse returned to somewhere near normal.

“I don’t think I’m ready yet, but I feel it, too. I promise I do. What I feel for you, Ryder, I’ve never cared about someone like I care about you. It makes my heart hurt how much I do.”

My response was muffled by her palm which she slowly removed. “I believe you, baby.”

She tangled her hands in the back of my hair and tugged me down, kissing me hard and showing me with her actions how much she cared even if she couldn’t find the words yet. Then a realization hit me, and I pulled back, narrowing my eyes.

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