Page 83 of Something to Someone

Clutching the scrapbook in my hands, I walked down the stairs and waved goodbye to my dad who was standing at the kitchen island eating cold leftovers out of a plastic container.

When I got in my car, I set the book in the passenger seat next to me and backed out of the driveway. Without thinking, I knew exactly where I was going.

I just hoped he would open the door.

THIRTY-SIX

SOMETHING TO YOU

Ryder

I parkedin the first spot I found and turned off the engine. But I didn’t get out. I just stared out the windshield at the exterior of the apartment building.

I didn’t want to move or think or do anything really. As Theo put it, I was moping. But he would be too if he were in my position. Hell, he was in a very similar position not all that long ago.

I told her I would be patient, and I was doing my best to keep that promise. But every second that passed felt like we were further away from where I wanted to be. Like the longer we went without speaking and the more space I gave her, the more likely it was that she’d never come back.

The rest of the weekend was miserable, but I’d put on my best happy face for Miles and Stephen. The reception and the brunch the next morning were great. It was watching Caroline work and be so close but not being able to talk to her that was torture. She did a much better job at pretending like I didn’t exist.

It was safe to say I was spiraling.

I went from numb to heartbroken every other minute. Staring out my windshield was one of those numb moments.

Finally, I mustered the ability to push open the door and step out into the summer evening. It was uncomfortably warm, and I began sweating almost immediately, my dress shirt and slacks sticking to me awkwardly as I retrieved my jacket and my backpack with my laptop from the back seat.

I wasn’t paying attention as I walked up the stairs. I was more focused on thinking about taking a shower, changing clothes, and sitting in the dark, binging reality TV on the couch. It was what I would have preferred to do all day rather than go to work and pretend like I cared to be there.

With my mind elsewhere, I didn’t see Caroline standing in front of my door until I was only a few feet away. Immediately, I stopped. She spotted me at the same time and froze.

“What—?” I started, shaking off the surprise and blinking to test if she was just a figment of my imagination.

“I—uh…I thought you just weren’t answering the door because it was me.”

“I would’ve answered, but I just got home,” I said.

Caroline was wearing athletic shorts and a lightweight jacket that was unzipped, displaying my T-shirt I’d lent her beneath it. A kernel of hope bloomed in my gut as I stepped forward. She didn’t have on an ounce of makeup which I only noted because it was unusual for her. Similarly, her hair didn’t look like it’d been brushed, tied behind her head in a haphazard ponytail.

“Do you want to come in?” I asked as I stepped forward.

She nodded and let me walk past. “That would be great.”

I fumbled with my keys for a second, but finally managed to open the door. I flipped on the kitchen light and dropped my backpack on one of the barstools. I slung my jacket over the back and turned to find Caroline standing just inside the closed door.

“Do you want?—”

“I know we both probably have a lot to say,” she said quickly, urgently. She dropped her bag next to the door and stuffed her handsinto her jacket pockets. “But if I don’t get this out now, I don’t think I ever will.”

Startled by her sudden explosion of words, I nodded.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, like she was trying to ground herself or prepare. I rubbed my sweaty palms against my pants and waited with bated breath. She tilted her head down and stared at her shoes as she spoke.

“When I was twenty-one, my boyfriend died.”

Of all the things I expected her to say, that was not one of them. The hurt in her voice made me want to wrap her in my arms and never let go. My heart ached for her.

Then she told me about Daniel. She told me from beginning to end about their relationship—how long they’d been together and how she thought it would be forever. Then she explained the accident and the outcome.

The entire time I gripped the counter for dear life and watched this woman I cared so deeply for pour her heart out to me while she stared at the floor then her hands. She was still my confident, unshakable woman, but that mask she wore so proudly had finally fallen.

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