Page 2 of Under Your Care

“Mrmph.”

The rumbly sound jolted me from my thoughts, making me smile and look down to my lap. Chloe gracefully stretched out a white-tipped paw to tap at my hands. I chuckled and began scratching her chin with one hand as I let the other comb through her silky fur. Closing her eyes and softly purring, she had not a single care in the world. Oh, to be a cat.

After a few minutes, I wiggled my thighs to gently aggravate her off of me.

“Alright. No more wallowing in despair while staring out my window!”

Chloe side-eyed me from her new spot in the window sill. It was time to wallow in my bathtub. Before I could begin walking towards the bathroom, I heard my phone ringing from where I’d left it on the kitchen table. I picked up when I saw the caller’s name light up the screen.

“Hi, sweetheart! What are you up to today? Any fun New Year’s Eve plans?” My mom excitedly asked. Without waiting for my response, she exclaimed, “Your dad and I have reservations at that fancy new restaurant in town!”

“Hey, Mom,” I smiled. “That sounds really great. You’ll have to take some pictures while you’re there. And no, I don’t have any plans. Oliver is still out of town for that antique convention thing.”

“Honey, you’re surrounded by big cities - I’m sure there are a billion parties that you could choose from! Just because little Ollie isn’t with you, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun on your own. And maybe…” I could hear her smile through the phone, “you can find the love of your life and have your own kiss at midnight!”

“I wish,” I chuckled, knowing she had already started drinking for the night. “You know I won’t though.”

Mom’s tone was instantly sobered. She hesitated for a few seconds before speaking. “Lane, I’ve been talking with Dad.” I don’t think that sentence has ever led to anything positive. “It’s just that… You’re so alone out there. One friend isn’t enough. And I know you have Chloe, but she's a cat, dear. You need more human connection. I wish you hadn’t chosen a school so far away. But, that’s besides the point. Your father and I think that maybe you should try going back to therapy. I know that you said you weren’t making any progress, but that was three years ago now. We’ll cover the cost. We’re just worried about you, sweetie. Will you at least think about it for a few days before saying no?” She pleaded.

I let out a deep breath and replied, “Okay, Mom. I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I want, Lane. We just want the best for you. Think it over for a few days, even a few weeks, okay?”

“Okay.” Changing the subject as quickly as I could, I asked, “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your fancy party, Mom?”

“Yes, I better get going. But Lane, it’s a new year, so it could be a fresh start for you! Just keep an open mind. Love you!

???

The wind was harsh against my face as I trudged through the snow to get to the pharmacy. I really needed to sign up for delivery. It was only a few days into the new year, and I was already dreading the rest of the year. However, I was currently shivering head to toe from the icy weather, so I suppose I could’ve been being atadpessimistic. Luckily, there wasn’t a line at the counter once I got into the pharmacy. I swiped my card, took my new bag of pills, and headed back out into the frigid air. I walked the few blocks back to my apartment and threw myself onto my bed as soon as I arrived. I turned my head to look at the medication bag still in my hand. The dosage just kept getting higher and higher. I groaned, kicked my feet a little in annoyance, pouted, and started looking up nearby therapists.

I could say that I did it for my mom, so that she would worry a bit less about me, but I was so tired of feeling this bad. I knew therapy couldn’t solve all of my problems, but maybe it could help at least a tiny bit. After a few minutes of striking out with several places that weren’t accepting new patients, I drew the conclusion that the universe must not want me to go to therapy. Deciding that I could’ve been being dramatic again, I forced myself to check one more office before calling off the search.

I dialed the number while fiddling with the strings of my hoodie.

“Hi, you’ve reached The Wellness Center! My name’s Amelia. How can Ihelp you?” A cheery voice chimed in my ear.

“Hi, um… My name's Lane Bennett. I was calling to see if any of the therapists in your office are accepting new patients.”

I was more than ready for another rejection.

“Yes, actually! One of our two therapists has availability! His name is Dr. Greyson Cohen and I can whole-heartedly recommend him. It looks like he can start seeing you in two weeks. Is that alright? If it’s an emergency, I can ask him to potentially squeeze you in, but I can’t promise anything.”

“Really? And no, two weeks is fine!”

I spent a few minutes discussing the details with and happily scheduled my first appointment. Once the call ended, I texted my mom to tell her the news.

Chapter 3

Lane

I wondered if there was a specific word to describe the crushing regret you feel just before following through on a decision.

Sitting in the therapy office, waiting for my name to be called, I traced the lines of the tile floor with my eyes. I fidgeted with the buttons on my baby pink blouse that I chose for this grand adventure out of my apartment. I had worn my favorite color to give me strength, but now I was worried whether my new therapist might judge me for it. When I booked the appointment, I was in a completely different mood and thought that this could be amazing and helpful and life-changing.

I wouldn’t have even thought about going back to therapy if my mom hadn’t been continuously bringing up the idea. Now, as I sat in the waiting room, about to be asked uncomfortable questions for an hour by a stranger, I wished I had just stayed home.

The receptionist who I had spoken with on the phone when I scheduled, Amelia, glanced over to me with a bright smile.

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