Page 126 of Past Due

“Annie got pregnant, and we thought she was okay. We really did. We didn’t know that she was suffering inside something awful,” Mom continued, still sobbing. “Spider found her in the car with a hose from the tailpipe. She couldn’t take it. She couldn’t live like that any longer.”

I lost control then. I vomited violently into the sink as my life was turned upside down with this horrible, terrible secret.

“Oh, honey,” my mom shouted and rushed to my side. She turned on the water to rinse away the mess as I heaved into the sink. “Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

The door to the trailer jerked open and Besian raced inside. “What’s wrong? Baby? Marley?” He moved my mother out of the way. “What did you do, Kim?”

“I had to tell her!” my mother cried. “She deserves to know the truth!”

“What truth? Tell her what?” Besian ripped a handful of paper towels from the roll nearby and wiped my face and mouth. “Marley? Rrushe?” He glared at my mother. “Kim! What did you say?”

“I’m not Marley’s biological mother. Her mother was Annie, Spider’s little sister, and her father was a...” My mother couldn’t finish it.

“Was a what?” Besian demanded angrily.

“A rapist,” I sobbed out in shame and horror. “My father was a rapist.”

Besian clutched me to his chest, combing his fingers through my hair and kissing the top of my head. “Goddamn you, Kim,” he growled. “Why would tell her that?”

“It’s the truth. She deserves to know!”

“Sometimes, the truth is better left buried,” he snarled. “Especially when it will hurt the people we love.”

“She was going to find out,” my mother insisted. “The police probably already have her DNA and mine. Once they ran it, they would know that we weren’t blood relations. Spider’s DNA is in a database because of how many times he’s been in prison. They would have connected her to him! For all I know, the man who hurt Annie is in a database somewhere, too! I couldn’t stand the thought of her finding out like that!”

I clung to Besian, gripping his blazer in both hands as I cried and tried to accept the ugly truth of my conception. Even through the haze of turmoil, I could see why my mother had told me now. It was awful to hear it from her. I couldn’t imagine hearing it from someone like Eric.

“Marley, we did what we thought was best,” my mom insisted. “I married Spider. I adopted you. We had some fake papers drawn up so you wouldn’t ever need to know. Really good ones. They’ve never been questioned. You used them for school and your passport. We wanted you to live a happy, normal life without all of that hanging over you.” My mom sobbed brokenly. “Marley, please,” she begged, “please look at me.”

Blinking away the tears flooding my eyes, I did. She touched my shoulder and then my cheek. “I know I wasn’t the best mother. I made mistakes. There are so many things I wish I could take back. Things I wish I could do over and fix,” she admitted. “But one thing has never changed and that is how much I love you. You may not have grown in my belly, but you are my daughter. I love you. My whole life was made better because of you. You are like sunshine to me, and I love you. I love you so much.”

“Mommy,” I said, reverting to my childhood name for her. I pulled away from Besian and threw my arms around my mother. She embraced me and swayed side to side, rocking me gently as she rubbed my back.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she cooed. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Behind me, Besian placed a loving hand on my shoulder. I glanced back at him and saw the tears in his eyes. He hurt so badly for me, and it was another reminder of how much he loved me and wanted to protect me and keep me safe. He leaned down and kissed my cheek, his lips lingering in that tender way I had come to crave.

We stayed that way for a while. My mother holding me. Besian touching me and pressing gentle kisses to the top of my head and my temple. Eventually, I stopped crying and let Besian clean my face with damp paper towels. Wrung out and still unsure how to make sense of the truth I had learned, I relied on them for support. I leaned on my mother as we left the trailer and sat still as Besian buckled my seatbelt.

Besian backed out of the parking space and left the rundown park. No one spoke as he drove and eventually merged back onto I-10 going east this time. I noticed he drove carefully, staying under the speed limit and leaving plenty of space between our car and others. He clearly wanted to avoid any run-ins with law enforcement. I didn’t blame him. Not with my fugitive mother in the backseat.

And she was still my mother.

Even though I wasn’t sure how I felt about learning about my biological mother or the monster who had fathered me, I knew one thing with absolute certainty. My mom loved me, and I loved her. We weren’t perfect, and God knows we needed some serious therapy to get our shit worked out, but we were family.

“What happens now?” Mom asked from the backseat.

“We’re driving south.” He put the car in reverse and backed out of the tiny space. “To Freeport.”

“Why there?”

“Because there’s a tanker docked there and the captain owes Kostya a big favor. So, you’re getting on her ship, and she’s going to take you to Spain.”

“Spain?” My mother repeated in shock. “And then where?”

“Zec will offer you some options. Places without extradition treaties,” he explained. “Until you decide where you want to go, he’ll keep you safe and make sure you have everything you need.”

Certain my mother was nervous, I shifted in my seat and looked back at her. “Zec is intimidating, but he’s a good guy. He’s loyal, and when he gives his word, he keeps it. He’ll make sure you get everything you’re owed.”

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