Page 119 of Past Due

“Whatever.”

Her clipped replies struck fear in his heart. “Marley, please,” he begged. “Talk to me.”

She angrily zipped her backpack closed and glared at him. “You want to talk? Okay. When was the last time you fucked her?”

Besian shifted uncomfortably and admitted, “A few weeks ago.”

Her face fell, and she gulped. “I see.”

“Technically,” he added, trying to make the situation better.

“Technically?”

Trying to be delicate, he explained, “She came, but I didn’t.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

Hating himself and his weakness, he admitted, “I couldn’t get it up.”

“What?” she scowled with confusion.

“I couldn’t get hard with her. We tried, but it didn’t...” He blew out an exasperated breath and scrubbed his hand through his hair. “I’ve had problems with that since the night I was shot. I thought it was something physical, but it was mental. It was a block because...”

“Because?”

“Because she wasn’t you,” he shouted. “I haven’t had any problems with you. At all.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“I didn’t technically have sex with Sinnamon or the others.”

“The others?”

“There were a few,” he admitted. “But it was the same with all of them. I gave them pleasure, but I didn’t get any. Not until you. Not until Tirana.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel special?”

“Yes,” he said stupidly. “You are special to me.”

“Oh, fucking spare me!” She threw a pillow at him. “I’m so special that you were out here trying to get laid when you supposedly were madly in love with me?”

“You dated, too!” he shot back, irritated that he was being held to a different standard.

“Dated? Yes. Fucked? No.”

“How was I supposed to know that?”

“You could have asked!” She threw another pillow at him. “You could have asked me on a date. You could have told me that you cared about me!”

“I do care about you. I love you.” He closed the distance between them in powerful strides. “I went to Albania to find you. I married you because I can’t imagine going one day without you next to me. I want to build a life with you, a future.” He slipped his hand along the back of her neck and cupped her face with the other. “Marley, I would die for you. Without hesitation. Without regret. I would die if it meant you would live.” He leaned down and touched his forehead to hers. “I love you. You, Marley. Only you.”

Her eyes closed, and tears spilled down her cheeks. His heart broke all over again at the pain he had caused her. She didn’t deserve any of this.

“I’m sorry, Marley. I’m sorry that I was with other women instead of telling you how I felt. I’m sorry that I didn’t get my key back from Sinnamon. I’m sorry that I stupidly left my ring and my shirt. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about the fight with the patron. I’m sorry. For all of it.”

She kept her eyes tightly shut, crying silently and refusing to look at him. Desperate to make her understand how much she meant to him and how committed he was to her, he said, “I’ll sell my interest in the clubs. Today. Right now. Kostya will buy them off me if I ask.”

Her eyes flew open. She searched his face as if trying to detect a hint of deception. “You’re serious.”

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