Page 38 of Kept By the Loan Shark

Chapter Twelve

“You hungry?” Hagen asked as he pulled out of the parking lot of the apartment complex. “I can stop somewhere before we get home.”

Ever since Hagen had arrived on my doorstep, the nauseating knot in the pit of my stomach that had been tormenting me for weeks began to dissipate. It was as if his presence and his apology had soothed away the anxiety. Had my body been trying to tell me that something wasn’t quite right with the situation? Was it my subconscious rebelling against the idea that Hagen would just leave me and not come back?

Hungry for the first time in days, I admitted, “I’m starving.”

“We can’t have that.” He grasped my hand and rubbed his thumb over the back of it. “Whataburger?”

“Oh my gosh,” I said with a little groan. “That sounds so good!”

My mouth was watering by the time we pulled into the drive-thru, and I didn’t even try to wait until we got back to his place to eat. I nibbled on the crispy fries and enjoyed the giant Dr. Pepper as Hagen navigated his SUV through the late-night traffic.

He seemed pensive as he drove, and I waited for him to say whatever it was that was bothering him. Eventually, he asked, “Cassie?”

“Yeah?”

“I know how much it took for you to forgive me tonight, for you to agree to let me back into your life.” He glanced at me so I could see his serious expression. “I’ll do whatever I can to regain your trust.”

“Just be you,” I said, reaching out to take his hand. “What we went through wasn’t totally on either of us. We were manipulated by a psycho. Yes, one of us or both of us should have made an effort to track down the other and talk in person. That was our mistake. The rest of it?” I shook my head. “That’s on Kyle.”

“I agree, but I want to make sure that you know that I’m not expecting things to go right back to the way they were. I know you might need some time to get to the point where you trust me enough for us to be intimate or for you to want to move in with me again.”

“I sublet that apartment from a grad student Taylor knows,” I explained. “I can’t move out and leave him hanging.”

“If you decide you want to move in with me, I’ll take care of the sublet rent. It’s the least I can do after this whole mess.”

“I’ll think about it.” I wasn’t quite ready to jump back in with both feet. Having my own place to retreat to felt like a necessary safety net. “And, anyway, I can’t drive so I need to be close to the METRO so I can get to class and therapy.”

“I’m more than happy to be your chauffeur, Cassie.”

“You have a life and businesses to run.”

“You’re the only business that matters, and my life was shit without you.” He squeezed my hand. “I mean it, Cassie. Whatever I have to do to earn back your trust, I’ll do it. Anything. Just ask, and I’ll make it happen.”

“John,” I murmured, thinking it wouldn’t take much.

“Anything,” he repeated as he turned into his neighborhood.

Wanting to tease him and lighten the serious mood just a little, I asked, “Anything like, oh, Iceland? Golden Circle? Northern Lights?”

“I’ll book the flights to Reykjavik in the morning.”

I laughed softly. “I can’t fly for a few more weeks.”

“When you’re ready, you let me know.”

I had been joking, but he was absolutely serious about taking me to Iceland. It had always been a bucket list trip for me, and the idea of sharing it with Hagen, of cuddling together under the night sky to watch the vibrant glow of the aurora borealis filled me with a happy warmth.

When we pulled into Hagen’s driveway, there was a black Audi parked in front of the house. I glanced at Hagen, and he said, “I sent Kostya a text while you were packing your bag.”

“Your favor?”

He nodded and pulled into the garage. “I’ve been keeping that one in my back pocket a long time.”

“I’m sorry you have to use it on this.”

“I’m not.” He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it. “I’d pay whatever price he asked to keep you safe.”

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