Page 75 of Who's Your Daddy?

She sighs like she’s slipping deeper into the pit of her own disappointment. “No.”

I’m still trying to think of other ways to soothe her when she lets out another loud wail.

“And they took his son, Peter!”

The outburst is so loud, I would’ve swerved the car had I not been alert.

“Whose son?” I ask, sounding panicked. “Are you talking about Tori? Tori doesn’t have a son.”

“No. Marlin.”

Who the fuck is Marlin?“Is that some guy from work?”

“No. On the TV.”

I glance over at her again. She is devastated. Like, tropical storm level of tears. She usually hides her emotions, so I have no idea how to handle this.

“Did you watch this on the news?” I ask. “That guy’s son got kidnapped?”

“No!” she shrieks, becoming more frustrated because I don’t understand what she’s trying to say. “Marlin, Peter. You know Marlin.”

“I really don’t.”

“You do.” She lets another pain-filled wail. “They just took his son so unexpectedly.” She hiccups through her sobs, reaching into her bag for a tissue. “He searched the whole...thewholeocean looking for his boy, and he overcame so many ob...obstacles just to find him.”

I pull over on the side of the road, and for a few moments, I just stare at my steering wheel as my brain sifts through this information. “Are you talking about Nemo’s dad? That Marlin?”

“Yes.” She blows her nose. “I watched it with Tori’s nephew today...and it just broke my heart.”

“I see.” I pull my lips in to stop a laugh, and when that doesn’t work, I rub my hand over my mouth. “I couldn’t before, but now I fully understand why you’re so upset. It’s absolutely warranted in this case. There is no greater tragedy...” My voice betrays me, and I clear my throat to maintain my somber tone. “...and hardship than what Marlin had to endure on his quest to find Nemo.”

She abruptly stops crying midway through wiping her nose and narrows her eyes at me. The scrutiny of her gaze makes it harder to keep a straight face, but I bite my lip and lock every feature in place.

“You’re mocking me,” she says.

“I’m not.”

“You don’t think Marlin is a real hero, do you? You don’t even care that he swam through shark-infested waters to find his son.”

He’salwaysin shark-infested waters. He lives in the fucking ocean...inAustralia. “Of course, I care. As soon as we get home, I’m gonna start a GoFundMe page to find all the clown fish who have ever been kidnapped off the Coral reef by dentists.”

She glares at me.

“And right after that, I’m gonna write a letter to those scoundrels who make the pickled artichokes and tell them to go back to their original recipe or...” I pause to think of a brutal consequence. “Or...else. I’ll say it in a more threatening tone than that, though. No one messes with you and gets away with it.”

“I don’t think you’re giving this the seriousness it deserves.”

“No, I am. I assure you I’m going to harness my inner Karen for this, Li. Management will be called. Complaints will be filed. Tiktoks will be posted.”

She’s torn at this moment, not knowing whether she wants to laugh or cry. A part of her acknowledges how ridiculous this is, but the other part is genuinely upset and looking for ways to justify the ridiculousness.

She lets out a heavy sigh of disappointment. “That tiny morsel of respect that I’ve been growing for you has died a slow and painful death.”

“Yeah,” I concur with a somber nod. “Just like Nemo’s mom.”

“Peter! That’s taking it a step too far.”

The tears start up again in earnest, and I can’t contain myself. I crack up, laughing so hard I almost start crying. “Come here.”

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