Page 60 of Who's Your Daddy?

There’s a stilted pause before Scott speaks again. “Why don’t you bring Lia as your plus one?”

“Really?” Considering that he basically called her a gold digger the last time he spoke to her, I wasn’t expecting that at all.

“Yeah. I think maybe I judged her too soon. It looks like she’s going to be in your life for at least the next few months, and?”

“Next fewyears,” I say. I have to tell them at some point. I might as well break the news now. “Uh...she’s pregnant.”

I get nothing but radio silence for a solid minute. Scott isn’t even blinking.

Dylan is the first to speak, his voice carrying his surprise with a hint of playful mockery. “Wow, Pete. That’s...that’s great. Congratulations. You must be so excited.”

I’m stressed. I’m scared. I’m anxious. Excited doesn’t even fall into the top ten. “I’m not.”

“Maybe that’s just because you’re thinking about the point when you have to stop having sex...and the diaper changes...and the vomit...and staying up all night...”

I hate him so much. “Just so you know. None of what you’re saying makes me feel any better.”

“...but once you get over the feeling of losing all your freedom and taking on thisenormousresponsibility, you are going to be so fired up to have this kid.”

“You are literally the worst friend in the world, Dyl.”

“Some people would love to be in your position, Pete. Never forget how lucky you are to be blessed with such a gift. I’m just pointing out that there are multiple reasons to celebrate today.”

I know Dylan is sensitive about this topic because he can’t have kids. He’s saying it playfully, but I know he’s referring to himself when he says things like:Some people would love to be in your position.

“Yeah, you’re right, Dyl,” I say, knowing that I need to change my mindset on this. But that’s a struggle for another day. Right now, we have another wedding to focus on. “So, let’s not be somber and focus on Scott’s special day. Congratulations, boy! I’m so happy that you and Cat managed to work it out.”

“Thanks,” he says. “And don’t stress, alright? Dylan’s an ass sometimes, but you know we always have your back, and we’ll be there for whatever you need.”

“I know. So, listen, give me half an hour and I’ll come over. Dylan, bring your toolset. We’ve got some DIY building to do.”

I hang up, then throw my head back against the pillows.It’s a blessing, I tell myself.Some people would love to be in your position. Currently, I’m not one of those people, but I’ll get there...right?

A kid is only a commitment for, like...a lifetime.

I only have to make the tiny sacrifice of giving up all my time and freedom and all the joys of single life.

Easy, right?

Nothing to panic about.

Oh, God! What have I done? One stupid, irresponsible moment and now I have to deal with the repercussions for the. Rest. Of. My. Life!

Did I fuck around? Yes.

Am I finding out? Most definitely.

I’ve been trying to come to terms with this for a week, and eventually, I had to stop burying my head in the sand. The reality is that this problem isn’t going away, so I can’t keep running from it. I told myself that I need to stop being a pussy and handle this like a man, so that’s what I did. I found Lia and brought her home.

This is the right thing to do. Taking responsibility for my actions is a given. I can’t leave the full burden of raising a child on Lia. We both did this. We both have to deal with the consequences. So, even though I’m freaking out, even though the stress is probably going to make me lose hair, even though this is going to turn my whole life upside down, I know this is the right thing to do.

I’m going to give Lia and our baby a good home, and—

Our baby?

I’m still trying to get used to that. It’s a lot to wrap my head around. I’m going to be a dad. That’s something I never thought would happen because I’m not a‘dad’type of guy. I’m not selfless and loving. I don’t even know how to fish. Is that a prerequisite? Because if it is, I failed right out the gate.

What if I end up being a shitty dad? What if I ruin my kid’s life, and he ends up hating me? He’s gonna be sitting in therapy in fifteen years talking about how I’m the worst role model and how I’m the reason he’s addicted to marijuana and has too much sodium in his diet.

---