Page 2 of Who's Your Daddy?

“That’s not true.”

“It is!”

“No, it’s not. I’ve been trying to get rid of you foryears. I hate to break it to you, Dyl, but...I don’t really like you.”

He rolls his eyes. “Pete, the way you live your life is very unhealthy. You don’t date. You just meet these random women at bars and clubs, have sex with them a few times, and then you end it before anything meaningful happens.”

“The sex part is very meaningful to me. I’d probably avoid women entirely if it weren’t for the sex. It gets me out of the house. That means something.”

“You won’t even have a friends-with-benefits type of relationship because just being friends with a female requires too much emotional commitment from you.”

“Friends-with-benefits arrangements generally don’t work. Women complicate things because they start catching feelings, and that ruins the entire concept. And at the end of it, you’re left with no friend and no benefits.”

“Why are you so resistant to making a connection with someone? You don’t even invite women over to the house because you don’t want to share your personal life with anyone.”

It really is too early for this. I just want to eat my omelet and go back to bed. My audible groan lets him know how disinterested I am. “Dyl, there’s no point in letting someone get cozy in my personal space when it’s never going to last beyond a week.”

That inkling of hope fades from his eyes like it always does, but Dylan is persistent. He never gives up without a fight. “You’re almost twenty-seven. What are you doing with your life, Pete? You’re unemployed.”

“I’m rich, so I don’t need to work.”

“You don’t have any productive hobbies.”

“Again, not true. I love playing the stock market, and that makes me a lot of money. I would say that’s averyproductive hobby.”

He runs an aggravated hand through his short brown hair because he’s clearly losing this argument. “All I’m saying is that you don’t have a genuine passion for anything or anyone. That’s not a life. That’s a...sad existence.”

I give a somber nod. “You’re right. I’m gonna take your advice and be more like you. That way, I can be trulyhappy. Remember how happy you were back in high school when you found out Isabella fucked you over and then she dumped you right after that?”Game.“And remember how overjoyed you were when you and Francesca got divorced, and she took your house, and you had to move in with me?”Set.“And remember that time when you were just bursting with elation because Isabella went psycho on you and wrecked your car.”Match.I take another bite of my omelet and chew slowly as I pretend to marvel at these memories when, in actual fact, I’m basking in my victory. “Wow, Dyl, you’re an inspiration to us all. You just convinced me to put myself out there more so I can find a good woman and be happy...just like you.”

“Alright, Pete.” He accepts defeat with a heavy sigh. “Guess it’s just going to be me and Scott at your funeral, then.”

“Hopefully, just Scott. It’s still my long-term plan to get rid of you.”

He laughs. “Well, that was another great chat. Completely pointless, but great nonetheless.” He takes his empty plate to the sink. “Sadly, though, some of us have jobs and responsibilities, so I’m gonna have my hour with the boxing bag, then shower and head to the restaurant.”

“I’m gonna check my stock portfolio, see how rich I am from doing nothing with my life, then...go back to bed.”

That gets me another eye roll before he walks away. He only takes a few steps, then stops to face me again. “And just for the record, I am bursting with elation. In a couple weeks, I’m going to marry the woman I’m madly in love with. Every bit of hell Bella put me through was absolutely worth it, and if given the choice, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.” His shoulders rise in a dismissive shrug. “But save yourself the trouble and complications, Pete. I’m sure meaningless sex with women who mean nothing to you is just as fulfilling as what I have with Bella.”

He leaves me with that statement, and it’s yet another reason why he’s one of my best friends. He’s a sentimental fool, which is both a good and a bad quality. Those sentimental views sometimes make me pause and question things. For instance, right now I’m questioning who really won that argument.

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