Page 77 of It Should Have Been Me

Scott must have given himself a pep talk because he arrived here cool and composed, not showing a hint of emotion, but the volatility is still there. Just like with that audio snippet with Keisha, he’s hiding it behind humor and casual conversation, but I see it each time our eyes collide. It’s right below the surface, threatening to brim over every time JP touches me. I’m grateful that JP isn’t an affectionate man because it would have only made a bad situation even worse.

I grip the edge of the sink, exhaling slowly as I try to pull myself together. I can’t wait for this night to be over. If the tense awkwardness doesn’t kill me, lying to JP will. Even though I’m fully aware that I did this to myself, my heart can’t take deceiving him this way.

“Are you okay?”

My sister’s voice startles me, and I spin toward the door to look at her. “This is so hard,” I admit. “I hate lying to JP. I hate what this is doing to Scott. But mostly, I hate myself because I’m the reason we’re all in this shit-fest in the first place. I’m so sorry, Isa. I shouldn’t be putting this on you when tomorrow is your big day.”

Keeping cautious eyes on me, she quickly closes the gap between us and pulls me into a hug. “Cat, if you?”

“Don’t worry about me,” I interject, grasping her shoulders so I can look her in the eye. “Your only concern is the wedding tomorrow. No matter what, it’s going to be perfect. I’m fine. I just needed a bit of a breather. Scott is out there talking to JP like nothing happened, and that somehow...makes the betrayal worse.”

She looks at me like I’m stupid for not realizing that this would happen. And the thing is, I did know this would happen, but thinking about it and living through it are two very different things.

I take in one more deep breath, then walk with Isa back to the tables. Dylan’s dad decided to host it at their family restaurant,Piatto Pieno,and their Italian heritage is evident in the décor, the atmosphere. When the low lighting and red-brick walls mix with the subtle garlicky aroma, it creates a sense of warmth that feels more like a home than a business. Isa gives me a reassuring pat on the back as we approach the table before she disappears to mingle with the other guests. I wait for the waitress to clear away the dirty dessert bowls, then I sit down beside JP.

“I’m not a big fan of music,” JP says.

Tommy narrows his eyes and scrutinizes him. “Were you chained in a cold, wet cellar as a child? Only a soulless individual wouldn’t like music.”

“Now, Tommy, be nice,” I chastise with a giggle from across the table.

JP turns to me. “Scott was telling me how you got him hooked on Latin pop.”

“To be honest with you, JP, she got me hooked on a lot of things. Latin pop is only my second favorite.” Those crystal blue eyes stay locked on mine as he pulls his cell phone out of his pocket. “CNCO has been Cat’s favorite band since high school. Let me play a song for you.”

A few seconds later, a beat fills the air, and JP leans closer to the phone so he can hear the song over the chatter around us. Scott has already sent me a message through the song Men In Black, so I can’t say I’m surprised by this, but I also can’t say that it doesn’t annoy the living shit out of me. The song floating through the speaker of his phone is calledPretend, which is all about two people sneaking around and hooking up on the down-low. Of course, JP can’t piece it together because most of the song is in Spanish, and the background noise makes it difficult to hear the lyrics.

“But for now we just pretend,” Scott sings along softly before his eyes move from JP to me. “Catchy, ain’t it?”

“Asshole,” I mouth, but the grin on his face shows me that he’s unperturbed because he has the audacity to wink at me.

He has better coping mechanisms than me because I am an emotional mess. All this lying and deceit is ripping me apart.

“I like it,” JP agrees with a non-committal nod. “So, what’s your favorite?”

Scott’s eyebrows crease. “Song?”

“No. You said that she got you hooked on a lot of things, but Latin pop was only your second favorite. What’s your favorite?”

I don’t think Isa would’ve told Tommy that Scott and I...did the nasty, but she must’ve told him that JP is unaware that we dated because he exchanges a quick look with me. We both know Scott, so we’ve naturally assumed what hisfavoritething is. It’s either me or a particular body part, which I’m guessing JP won’t take kindly to knowing about.

“Fruit coated with chili powder,” Scott responds, and Tommy’s breath of relief is audible. “You should try it. Mango, pineapple – it’s very addictive.”

This conversation is making me very uncomfortable, so I try to steer it in another direction. “I can’t believe Peter left so early.”

“He’s in the honeymoon phase. They couldn’t wait to get out of here,” Scott says with a chuckle. “Is it just me, or is Lia a little weird?”

“She’s not that bad, Scotty,” Tommy counters.

“She’s sweet,” I say. “A little quirky, but very sweet.”

“I agree, she’s nice, but I don’t know, there’s just something off. I can’t quite put my finger on what’s bugging me about her.”

“Come to think of it, she was giving off some subtle forty-niner vibes.”

“Yes!” Scott replies. “That’s what I was trying to tell Pete, but he’s hearing none of that.”

“What’s a forty-niner?” JP asks, and Tommy starts singing in his best Southern accent.

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